Asteria - - - - - - - - *

MOVING

2009-09-02T03:49:00.002+08:00

This blog and its contents are my past thoughts. A memory that I need to leave.
Let it collect dust, and when the time is right, then I shall revisit it again.

Till then, a new chapter awaits; http://mafiaswoman.blogspot.com

SarahAsteria

Suffocating in my own thoughts.

2009-08-29T02:25:00.003+08:00

Im sorry for my lack of update. Been trying to find my life here.
My switch got haywired and almost cost my relationship a big sum.
Friends, or rather, Abusers, are no longer trusted.
You deserve what I got, and revenge is sweet.

You made me lose my mind over something so small.
Yet, its the small things that matter.
Handpicked some over a small group.
Cut away the rest.
I think I can get use to this.

Thanks to this kind of people.
That I hate them for life.
Treat me like nothing had happened.
You took my heart with your words.
Then you ripped it off with words to other people
Those lies. You're gonna get it one day.
Just let me sit back and see the result.
Thats why I love this kind of people.
They are not careful enough, to break this heart.

I got a feeling

2009-08-13T14:06:00.000+08:00

Things have got to change for the better.

I'm 100% to be blamed for wanting extra attentions and also having the secret leaked to my own surprise. WTF!!!

You know who is the true friend, and who isnt. But for me, I dont know who, until recently. The reason for me not being able to talk about my problems to people is because of my previous experiences. For example, D, ok, shes a good friend, who eventually is a partially good listener, then wander off to her dreamland before I finish my story. And I gt NS, who, is a listener, but not a person for me to talk to, cos, she will always compare her experiences to be more tragic than mine. And it was her who bitchmouth about me to almost all my friends.

Its hard to find someone who is truthful and sincere in a friendship. It takes time to tell how they are treating you as a friend. The surprise that was leaked was planned dearly by my boyfriend, with the helps from a couple of his friends. Somehow, it was me who forced him to blurt it out. And it seems that the surprise isn't anymore a surprise, it seems like a normal plan, where everyone is involved and no one is being shunned from, well maybe 1(NS)?

Im doing something special for you this Friday. InsyAllah.
Happy Advanced 11th month!! And we are gonna have a blast on Friday k.

10th monthsary

2009-07-14T23:00:00.005+08:00

Boo, it's the 14th already...
Happy 10th months!!
Hope we'll be together forever, and ever...

I still remember the first time we dated.

We were in Toy 'r' Us, there you were, so engrossed with all the toys
especially Thomas.
You made the date fun.
You made it memorable.
You made me laugh, like there's no tomorrow.
You made me feel like we already ONE.

Boy, on that first date, I fell for you.
HARD.
After that day, I kept thinking of you.
I look forward to every meeting with you

And now, every single day,
I still do think of you.
I still miss you even if we've met a few minutes before.
Each night is never without a kiss from you.
I love you so much!

Boo, I hope we'd be together forever.
And this feelings for each other shall not perish.

(GET WELL SOON, too...!!)

moolahs and extensions, please!

2009-07-13T15:07:00.003+08:00

I need moolahs now!
Im a bankrupt person, who is already available to work on short notice, or else I rot at home, and count the remaining day till the beginning of the month. Yes, you can say I still get my allowances from my parents at this time...

READ THIS: Unemployed.

And I miss my long long long long long Hair..... That hair that used to touch my boobs... Gatalkn, nk jgak potong rambut.....! Now, I got to regret my whole life.... And arm myself with hairdryer and my trusted conditioner..... Ouh, those frizzy moments.. Arghhhh! Hari Raya is in 2 months time... Ouh hair, ouh mighty hair, please grow another 4inch in 2 months... I miss you, and I'll make up to that, by highlighting it, by giving you treatments.... And the best products there ever is for hair... Just come back, can?

I think my laptop is no longer giving me problems. I think. Cause I got fed up with all the spyware things, and decide to disable all... I know my laptop can die without it. But after tt, my Internet and MSN is running very smoothly...

I'm missing Fit, Adlynna, Lina Farhana, Ain, Farz, Shahidah, Huda...... :( Lina, next Tuesday please confirm the Gelare date k..............................?

*When I meet you, I'm not myself, cause I hate you for judging me. Let everyone see my true self except for you. Say all you want about me, but everyone shall see its the total opposite.*

Ouh, the NERVES of this bitch

2009-07-11T12:08:00.000+08:00

Remember the phrase about friends in my April entry?

I have categorise Friends into 3 groups:
1) True Friends; Always there, no matter what
2) Sometimes there, sometimes gone
3) There when they need you, Gone when they are fine

There' this particular friend of mine who falls in the 3rd group. I've been hearing from a couple of people, that shes been thrashing about me, all those negative things, and even tell my secrets away. I thought I could trust you, I thought you were the most caring person I ever met. But I'm wrong. You weren't. You were just digging up for more stories from me, to tell the whole world about it.

You were the one who started the spark, but the fire got bigger, and you can't hide it anymore. I got to know from a dear friend, who has been hearing you bitching about me, all those lies. But, you were telling it to the wrong person, you told someone who had knew me quite well in the beginning. And when you're with me, you bitchmouth about this friend of mine. Are you trying to get good with the both of us and destroy our friendship?

Am I that bad of a person, that it's so important for you to spread all those rumours to other people? If I am, why are there still friends who would still support and help me when I'm down? And am I really a pest to you, that its important to let people know about it? I don't know about your intentions in all this, or your reasons, but one thing I'm sure of, is that you're making it worst... Not for me and my friends, but you, who is making the situation worst for yourself. Cos, here we are, sitting and waiting whats your next move is, and buying time to go against you and your mouth.

Such a heartache to see you snatching my friends away from me, and turning them against me. Before, I was so Naive to think that you weren't capable of doing all this, but it seems that all these stories were true with evidences and from reliable sources.

And please, stop telling people I'm a loner,that I've got no friends. Stop telling people I'm in my own world. Cos, baby, I'm standing firmly on the ground. And please, telling everyone, that once I've got no more friends, I would find you, it's bullshit! Oh yes, I would like to thank you on those times you had helped me with my problems, cos you were maybe being honest during that time. And yes, I can't deny, I used to say I've no friends before, cos I got cooped up from the world last 2 years. Now, I'm back on my feet.

Now, I realise there are actually more friends out there, they were there all along, but I didnt see.... And dyou still think that I've got no friends now? I've got plenty! And there's no need for you to think that you are the most important person in my life! You can go fuck off! Just perish yourself from my social life...........!

Sheesha Momentos.

2009-07-07T20:12:00.003+08:00

4th July

Sheesha session with BANDITS @ Aladdin.

Who's in it?: Fahmi, Fit, Farihin, Syed, Sarah, Mut, Shanaa, Raimi, Zai, Adlynna and Ameerza.

I personally think that the service there is OK only. Not that satisfied.... "-_-

Pictures from my camera!! :)

Lunch at Bedok McDonalds

Attendance is compulsory.

The US.

Those people who were trying so hard to be DRAGONS

I couldnt make him smile until the last pic. How FAKE!

And theres this picture of us on Fri, where FIT is not there, and we had alot of fun... :)
You should have been there..........! Right Adlynna?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

My laptop has been giving me problems lately, by chance, it has decided to let me browse through the Internet. I'm in need of killing 'hym', and buy a new one...(this is just a threat, but its not so real) As matter of fact, I dont know whats wrong with it. Had just updated my Internet Explorer and my Anti-spyware program, and also my MSN messenger. Is it alot of updatings on one day, that it affects the entire computer...?

irritating morning glory

2009-07-04T03:42:00.002+08:00

eh, i cnnot slp.................

y?? cos i get my dearest laptop back, and sometings r just irresistable!!!

beeeen deleting all pictures that are not even suppose to be in my laptop.. yes, been hvng this habit of not deleting stupid pictures(me posing weirdly or me in d most ugliest face) or even pictures of exes of million years ago.

and when i had deleted, i thot i had so called left all of the memories of yesteryear behind, and not even thinking about it. but well, it didnt. just someting happened, that trigger that memory of mine. and i had to " FUCK U LAR!!! THIS IS NOT THE TYM FOR ME TO REMEMBER SOMEONE LIKE U!!" its the most unwanted memory, feelings and even the knowledge that i had even known this person at all................. the things that i regret the most. and would just wish that i could turn back time for the better...... but NO. that memory, feelings and knowledge of it is back. it may happen for awhile, but its the most painful.

and another thing that has suddenly surfaced. its that unwanted person. whose been a pain in the assss. which i wish, tt i dont meet this person at all, and not meet forever. just wish u would go away. hand me those bug spray, i would just spray u to death. hear me. im not kidding how irritating you are sometimes, most of the time tt is. arghh, stop meddling the peace, FOR ONCE!

i hate late nights, im missing Farihin so much. hes out playing battlefield with some of Taming Sari gang. 18 more days till the day we need to TAP.

I miss this

2009-07-03T23:25:00.001+08:00

Sorry for the utmost delay of updating my space...............

Its been sucha long month, and it seems Im still daydreaming from my holidays. And my laptop just got back from Farihin's crib.

June has been fun and memorable, when Farihin's mum went to Umrah, BBandits been crashing at his place n made a hell lot of things... Me and Fit were cooking, and mostly its me, less of Fit.. hehehe.....

Done alot of things, but tooooo bad! I wasnt in any mood to take pictures nowadays... And my dearest Fuji cam needs a clean up... Its been giving me sucha grainy pictures... Why ehks?

Anyway, some friends had been snapping away and tagging me in their facebook.. THANK YOU!!

some pictures from Farz's chalet gathering, some from Silah's surprise birthday party and Baybeats(Ok, its pretty long ago)

Fe fy fo fum!!

2009-05-09T19:34:00.002+08:00

Im back y'all. Only thing I'm using my cousin's lappy. My lappy is now in the hands of my boyfriend who actually uses it to play COUNTER STRIKE!! Pardon ks....

Exams are over, I'm happy!! Tho I think I did below the expectations that I had put for each of the papers. Wish and pray for me, get 1 DISTINCTION 2 MERIT. No PASS ok!! :)

After the exams, its like a breather for me to be going out and enjoy my time, with my beloveds... Fit, Farihin, Adlynna, Shanaa, and the rest of Bandits.. Gua rindu oi!! And now, thanks to Farihin, for my nickname, Sarah Swine.... PFFFT!!!!!

And the unforgetable stories and tales of the 4 Princesses - Fit, Adlynna, Fat and me!! Heee.. Ohhh, btw, Fat is a guy.

Bandits having the Sentosa outing next Saturday, and I'm sick now... Please get well sooon, Im getting a flu now, and its not Swine Flu forgodsakes!!!

Any of you miss me?
I miss my Farihin and Fit, and the normal hanging out people... Shanaa, Raimi and Zai.... And Fie, sometimes.. hahahaha... Ouh, cnnt wait for next week, and get Zai punched 20 times for his belated Birthday and farewell party before NS..... Wait, does tt count 20 times 2 equals 40 punches in total??

friends.

2009-04-16T13:11:00.002+08:00

Got this definition from a friend's blog:

" Generally its just a term. Sometimes they're there sometimes they're gone. Sometimes they just come back to share their probs but vanish when they're fine. Sometimes we are just the listening ear, when our heart bleeds. True friends will show. They wont leave whether or not u need them. They're important, cause they're the pillar. Where u hold on to, share with, talk with, listen with. Not hurt with. "

and i read from the girl's blog:

"that my mother is everything in the world, we DO NOT keep secrets from each other."

So, being open to each other, requires lies and exaggerations put into it. Oh, wait, maybe not lies, mybe just information hidden from the 'secret'. Arghh, people, tknk kalah. For the mother and daughter team, next time, get ur informations all out, dont ever trash it to other people. Sit down, think, why people, not neccesarily be ME only, say and think the things they do. Go reflect. You got the brains.

*aku macam tk puas hati seh, but guess what, when one friend becomes an enemy, i still got other friends who is unlike her and who are much more better*

who is : farihin,fit, nana, adi, zai, mimi, farz, ain, totally all BANDITS. aku syg korg!! :)

I tink i know some crazy bitch out there.....

2009-04-10T12:25:00.002+08:00

Imagine when we told the truth abt something personal, it backfired. The mother called and threatened me, to meet my mum and tell her all those secrets. Go ahead. I covered it all. The mother, kept asking for my house number, and I refuse to give, now shes saying that shes coming to my house. You come to my house uninvited, and unwanted, I'll call the police for intruding. Easy said. Dont say Ive not done it.

And for goodness sake, everyone at the Fleamarket, my friends, both the girls who did the stall together, all were unhappy with the mum for lingering there. And me, being honest, told this particular girl, who used to be my friend, about the mother. And I understand why, but there's no need for you to linger for 3hours and decide what needs to be changed. The main people who should be involved in the planning, is the 4 of us. Theres no need for a mother to be involved.

All of my frens had said, the mother had given each of them a disapproving look.I dont need someone to approve of my frens, except for my parents. My parents know them, my parents are fine. Theres no need for you to ask me whether my parents know who are my friends.

And so, why did the mother called me, ending up saying she hate my character, and why i had to involve her bloody daughter about her and that I should have confront her. Hmmm, the daughter was the one who wanted to know the truth, she bugged me, attacked me thru the sms, so I told her. The mother now isnt happy with fact why its because of her, that Im abandoning the friendship. Once I know, I see, I sense, I back off. Friending someone, whose mom dont like you, is just a waste of time, the more the mum will hate u.

And for someone who is a mother, and matured thinking, to say this, "Im gonna talk to your mother, and tell her to control you." My next response, "So you think that my parents dont raise me up well?" And afterwards, she went silence, she still thinks I need to be controlled by my parents. Im 20 remember? I lead a good life. I dont drink wine or any alcoholic drinks like this family does. I pray, I eat at places with Halal certificate, I respect elders(but those who dont respect me, I wont give a damn about them!), I am unlike this family of hers. Pray and all, eat anywhere, as long 'NO PORK NO LARD', and go Australia, drink wine. +_=" Me needing control? Ive got it all under my belt now. Im quite independent and know how to think. Thank you.

And you, being a mother, had to say this, "I know u smoke, i know u have a boyfriend. But well, you're not my daughter, what do i care?! But im gona tell ur mum abt this." First up, I smoke, its not a sin against the religion, its makruh. And do you have any evidence, ouh ouh ouh, got picture arh? I was merely posing with cigg. Thats a crime? And and and, having a boyfriend?? My parents knows about Farihin...Whats there to say? And maybe you are just not happy with my friends, for smoking, having bikes.... C'mon, my parents know them, theres no need for you to sarcastically ask abt it. As long as I know how to takecare of myslf, they are fine with it.

What Im not happy about is, why she had to threaten me, talk to my mum, go to my house(because she knows where my house is exactly), and tell all my 'secrets'. Ish, ish, ish, thats blackmailing. And one more thing, I thought I had settled it with the daughter in a good gesture. And the mother took the chance to call me and attack me. Ask ur daughter what she said. She said, "My mum just dont like some characters of yours, i know my mum" Ouh well, not everybody is perfect, mybe, for her, her two precious daughters are the ones who are really PERFECT.

For now, Ive rest my case, and waiting happily for this crazy mother to arrive at my doorstep, and get the door slammed in her face by my mother. Or maybe have some brush with the law. 2nd time she get involved w the police, it means a case under her name, and also lock up. :)

abCdeFghIjkLmnOpqRstUvwXyz

2009-03-09T17:00:00.003+08:00

Im updating now.... Sorry, am being a lazy ass, plus, the weather's so nice to get myself sleeping or just lying on bed the whole day...

Oh oh oh oh oh...... Should I get LG KC910 or Sony Erricson W595?????????

First up:
Fleamarket.....

Though it ended early due to bad weather, I'm grateful and happy, the rent is not collected, more profit for me I guess. hehehe... Ouh, and thank god Bandits was there, they helped carrying stuffs, folding clothes, sorting things out and accompanying me and the rest when the rain start to pour, maybe, without them, things dont get done any faster...

Then:
Ouh, did I say I missed my little baby? No?
It has decided to upgrade itself, to all BLACK! :)
*Bandits are deciding on the logo, and a new sticker for mui helmet, thanks to Audi...*

More:

Double date with Shanaa and Raimi... Hei Sushi we went.... I still dont care, I want my Tenzaru Soba, and the soft shell crab.. I wanna try both of these dish... But the cash isnt on my side.. DAMN! So, had the normal Teriyaki Udon, Farihin had his favourite Chicken Katsu Don, and 5 plates of Sushis.... Shanaa on the other hand, had, mybe more than 10plates, and Raimi had Teriyaki Chicken Don.

After we had stomached all those food, we went to ECP, to slack around... We just cant get enough of the beach, cause before Hei Sushi, we were hanging around at Pasir Ris Beach, playing on the swings... Oh yeah, the guys had their share of the swings as well, but too bad, I forgotten to take a picture of them.. Teeeheee....

LELONG LELONG

2009-02-25T00:23:00.003+08:00

DANI/SARAH/SURIA/IFAH'S FLEAMARKET
WHEN: 28TH FEBRUARY 2009
VENUE: BLK 5 CHANGI VILLAGE
(NEAR CANADIAN PIZZA)
TIME: 5PM TILL MIDNIGHT

Do come down, aites!

Our latest date, Changi Beach, our next favourite hang out... :)

And hanging out every single time before he books in, just makes sad... But, its the best time I've had.... :)

i aint a mother

2009-02-19T12:09:00.002+08:00

from rachael ray show;

mum's dirty little secret:

"i sign up my son for karate,

cause the instructor is HOT-te!"

haha. random.

tomorrow's friday, wooweee! farihin's 80% will have half day....
he's gonna fetch me from school, after 1 and half months...

wooowwweeee!!! yay!

p.s:in good mood. people, pls, respect that.
if you got something to remind me, remind me now, not at the last minute.
would appreciate it, dont dump it directly.....

dear god

2009-02-16T12:04:00.002+08:00

Oh, dear, he's sent to the hospital at 1am this morning, for his fever.......
Im soo worried sick, and sad... Now, hes at home, and resting... I cant possibly meet him now, but to just wait till my class are over, and head to his place...

Dear God, let him get well soon.. I hate to see him sick, and very weak... :(

whatever you like.. yeah

2009-02-15T11:49:00.000+08:00

14 February 2009
5th month

So, on the Lovers day, wherever we went, there'll be holding of hands, flowers, bears, hugs, kisses, formal dressings, beautiful couples... SWEET....

On the day we were suppose to go out at 11am, someone slept in till 2pm.... I had the luxury of going to Dani's place, had a chance to chat with her granny and rub shoulders with her cat, Neigen...

Our date started with us having lunch at Gelare.... Two scoops and a big waffle, was just enough to make us FULL... Surprised him with the heart shaped shortbreads that I made earlier yesterday... :)

Right after the lunch, we sat around East Coast, before heading off to Downtown, to catch the movie, Pink Panther 2... Hilarious, and a must watch!! :)

Met the Baz, Mut and Aliff first at Esplanade, before meeting Mark, Ayu, Achap, Silah, Faisal, Fatin, Adi, Ifah, Fir and Atiqah.... Had dinner with the tensome at Lau Pa Sat till 11pm.. And I was running late... Really late, reached home at 12mn, had to walked from Safra till my place...

HAPPY 5TH MONTHS BABY...!!
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH... :)

deteriorating lifestyle

2009-02-08T20:55:00.005+08:00

Its been tons of activities for the past week. :)

Insyallah, one of the Saturdays, I'll be doing another fleamarket at Changi. I'm gonna join forces with Dani and Suria, and maybe Ifah. Farihin also wants to help out and maybe even shop around... :)

Anyone who wants/needs our help in selling their stuff, is welcome. We will be happy to help you out.. Just sms or email me, and we'll tell you how its gonna work.

Makeover by Suria Affiza
Products by Nicole Miller.

Pictures from http://pompuancantik.multiply.com/

Hanging around with Dani, Sakina and Saiful

Hei Sushi

East Coast Park

Suria Garage Sale at Changi

emo-less

2009-02-04T00:30:00.001+08:00

As the days go by, the more I'm pretty unsure of my future. It's like my life is hanging by the thread.. No focus can just kill me, instantaneously. This coming May, its just the 3 challenges that bring my shoulder down. Come October, 2 more come rolling down my way. Someone, please help me... I may be thinking too much, but its getting into me. The more I was sure of my decision, the more people brought it down, till I could no longer lift up the spirits. I can't help it, but just be floating in between. The numbers are equal, and my feelings are neutral. All I need, is a guide from the stars to shine its light towards this rocky journey.

Baby, I miss you.

theres always another time

2009-02-03T12:32:00.002+08:00

Teacher told me to take 3 papers.
Teacher told me to come class regularly.
Teacher told me to study hard.
Teacher told me to be confident.
Teacher told me to do my best.

I'm stress.
I need distinction for all 3.
I want to show my parents and brother,
how well I did, after I gave up twice.
Im gonna my best now.
In whatever I do, I'll always think of them.
Disappointment is not in my dictionary.
Success is my middle name.

Now, teacher, care for some help and guidance?

3 more days. Baby, please come back soon. =(

duck/cat

2009-02-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

I've been forced to be online by my mom, to constantly check for her classes.

[WHAT A LIFE!]

On a lighter note. Saturday celebrated Fat's belated Birthday, Erna's Birthday and Farihin's advanced Birthday at Ayam Penyet, Lucky Plaza. As usual, Bandit's 3pm is actually 4.30pm. The First and Second people to came were arnd 4pm. How coool.... =_="

Right after Ayam Penyet, Fit, Fir and me followed Farihin to meet his friends at Far East Plaza. That is, after me and Fit were running, in need of a loo(more of Fit though).. Haha.. Afterwhich, we went to Esplanade, met up with Acap, Faizal, Mark, Fadhil and Adi; plus their companions except for Fadhil. In truth, we could have mixed with the others, which would add up into a bigger group of people. Fat and Erna's group went to Raffles Avenue to support Nadra's sister, who is involved in the Chingay Festival. But, in the end, the crowd was unbearable, we just sat with Acap's group.

Gone off quite early though, 9.45pm. And, me, being the cheeky one, suggested to take from Raffles Place. So, I, being the cheeky one, led Fit and Farihin through the underpass and exited through Fullerton Hotel. And, again, being the cheeky one, took Fit by the hand and into the hotel's toilet, where we went GAGA over it.. Haha, typical respond.

And I reach home at 11.45pm. Yay! 2 hours to reach home, bravo to the cheeky me?!

.:. he's just entered yesterday. =( countdown ~ 5days .:.

tralalalala... aku lapar

2009-01-29T11:38:00.001+08:00

when im bored. i do this:

Get Your Sexy Name

re-freshing, re-hab

2009-01-28T20:09:00.003+08:00

baby, baby, when we first met
i never felt something so strong
you were like my lover and my bestfriend
all wrapped in one with a ribbon on it

[5 days of heaven]

I love these weekend/weekday. CNY should happen every week. I want to meet my boyfriend for 5 days straight, and he book in for only 3 days.. Will that be possible? Aint it nice?

So, that Monday, Bandits had a gathering, cause Fit was missing all each of us. I was missing all those Bandits gatherings. Its been a long time since they gather like this. When we were hanging around, we got screened by the Police, cause some of the resident complaint about us not giving the kids play at the playground. BULLSHIT...! Padahal, its only the bikes that are obstructing the passageway, nothing to do with the playground. Urm, do these people need any english classes to differentiate a pathway and a playground... And we are not bad people, to not even let the small kids to play at the playground... C'MON!!

Oh, well, forget about those things.... Am glad yesterday I got to shave Farihin's head... Teehee.
Sorry,baby, I shaved it ugly... Hehehehehehe.....................

And this coming Saturday, Bandits having another gathering in conjunction of Fat, Syed, Erna and of course, Farihin's Birthday... =) Hopefully Farihin do not have any guard duty on Saturday.....

Pictures!!

at rooftop

P.s: some are old photos from 8th Jan and 19th Jan respectively.

Happy 10th Birthday... =)

Before she went to Jakarta....

My baby in Uniform.. Awwwh... =p

4hrs, COUNTDOWN!

2009-01-23T15:16:00.000+08:00

A few more hours, baby. I'm counting down and pretending to be enjoying my classes each day, to let time pass by faster.

I cry at night, cause my baby's too far to be by my side.To wipe these tears of mine, so I hold my pillow tight.

bored + lonely = suicide

2009-01-22T14:01:00.006+08:00

fighting the storm
into the blue
and when i lose myself
i think of you.

together we'll be running somewhere new
nothing can hold me back from you.

IM BORED....=_+"

Is there anyone out there whose willing to rescue me from the boredom im experiencing now. can anybody just make the time move faster, and slows it down, or maybe stop it, when it comes weekend; i.e friday onwards.

AKU BOSAN!!

And missing him loads. Stupid handphone was going haywire, I bet its the battery again, just changed it last year... And now, he can't contact me like he did the past few days, the batt has died on him.. Fuck seh!! Gonna need to exchange again, and for me, get a new phone, SONY ERICSSON...walkman!! AKU SUDAH JATUH CINTA LAR.... =)

Dear Jakarta Girl,
I miss you alot. I've been dreading this day, where both of you, you and my significant half, are not here by my side when I need you guys badly. Sometimes, I got to wait till the day I meet you to tell you, but it slipped my mind, and well, sometimes, the topics have BASI.. I'm sorry.

Anyways, Jakarta Girl, I want loads and loads of things from there. But actually, all I want is you back here. Come home soon k... And I'm soo sorry, I cant webcam with you tonight.. =(

wired-bored.

2009-01-19T23:23:00.003+08:00

Im sad, he's accidentally slept twice. And here I am, waiting for him to sms me back. Technologies nowadays can really be annoying, yet pleasurable. Had managed to talk to him on the phone for 2 days in a row now, with his new charger that uses AA batteries. I'm happy, nevertheless, or else, it'd be his phone died on him on the day he booked in, and he using his friends' phone, changing 2 to 4 times in a day. I cannot wait for this weekend, its like the longest weekend for him, and more time for us to spend time together.

Met Dani and Kina just now, though it wasnt that long. Sad to hear that Dani is flying off tomorrow... First, Farihin left me for camp till this friday, that is if he got no guard duty at all. And now, Dani is leaving me for Jakarta... I'm gonna be tortured.. Oh, the dreaded 4days..

4 months and counting

2009-01-14T11:58:00.002+08:00

Happy 4 Months Baby.. =)
140908

Have you ever wondered how he looked like when botak?
Hehehe....

He looks like this...

Arghh... A day more before Friday...

This is the most hardest part; being away from him.

someone's missing

2009-01-12T22:08:00.001+08:00

To dearest Dani,

Please do not give up in life, for I know your potential in life is beyond words. The only thing that can keep you going, is believing in yourself, and always, do everything the best you can, with all the effort you can put in. I believe, there's always another chance in life when you fail in that particular area. Your destination is still permanent, though the journey may be different... You know, I love you for being a strong girl, who is very sensible in her choice in life. You'll have a good life ahead.

******************************************************************
I'm missing all those Im so used to seeing every single day of my life.
I miss Suria, Nazirah and Durga very very much! Our days in BMC was the best, whenever I have my breaks, I'll always be going to the office next door and disturb Ms Suria Affiza working... I miss the 10 min breaks I had with Naz and D, which usually will stretch to 30 min breaks, cause we wanted to walk till Plaza Sing...

I miss Bedok Bandits hanging out most of the weekdays. Ever since Farihin entered Ns, Fahmi and Salman too, the group has gone smaller, people are getting busier and apparently no one wants to hang out anymore. Please hang out often guys...! Aku rindu....

And I miss going for night ridings, where I remembered the times when we kind of had supper with a total of 10 people(ok tk byk kn kn kn?), and then we go off to places I've never been before. The reason why I love night ridings, because that is the only time I can stay out late, and get to spend more time with HIM. =)

Strangely, I think I miss working. Haha... Yeah, that's it.. Haha... Got to be that right... LOL... And I cant work yet.. Cause, my classes are in the way.... Any places that has flexible hours? Pls tell me....

tick tock;silence

2009-01-07T15:44:00.002+08:00

BABY, I MISS YOU.
I just want this time back,
or, come friday, I wish the time stops.
So that, I can have you all to me..
Its making me crazy being away from you..
Come friday, I shall make the time stop.

Everything has a new beginning

2009-01-07T13:23:00.002+08:00

DROWN
in tears of loneliness.
i lost something precious.

A day after he's entered camp.. And I feel sad.. I can't possibly sms him as much as I want, I can't talk to him on the phone, I can't see him, hug and kiss him.. Let's think positive, he's coming back to east side in 2 days time... And I can't wait for that day..

After sending him yesterday with his mum and aunt, and Bazly, I had a terrible flu, I was supposed to go to school, my first day of the module. The next thing I know once I reached home, I slept for a very long time.. So, kind of, I skipped class.

Anyways, right before he entered camp, had a couple of dates with him..

E!Hub on the 31st December, to catch The Bedtime Stories... And eat at BBQ Chicken..

Kallang Leisure Park on the 4th January, to catch Transporter 3...

Esplanade/Town, to buy some stuffs and meet up with Fit and Shasha..
And I cut my hair!! He shaved his hair as well!!

Maybe some tears....

2009-01-04T17:09:00.001+08:00

In a few days time,
I wont be able to ride on this baby...
Maybe weekends only...
I am gonna miss this little machine....

wonder who's nina?

2009-01-03T15:31:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR
2009 is the year
for a new start.

Sorry guys for not updating tis little piece of space of mine. Been a bit tad lazy to even on my trusty laptop... There has been a couple of activities going on, that I couldnt even click it with my low batt camera, which being me, was even lazy to count the pennies that I got for now...

Handphone bills have been rising above 100bucks.. And this time round, I got to pay by myself, and maybe even resort to working now. And for you guys who sms-ed me, who didnt get a reply, my sincere apologies..

This new year, managed to catch those people getting drunk... Bedok Bandits celebrate it at the rooftop this year... And only a handful were "stationed" there to take care of the drunked people. Managed to meet Yuni around 3am, and here I am, alone, watching all the 3 of them drunk as well; Yuni and her 2 hot friends. As usual, sneak into her house at 4.30am, leaving her 2 frens sober up at a pondok nearby.. Fahmi, do you have any of the pics u took at the countdown??

Anyways, pictures of the flea market you guys have waited for... not much tho..

I LOVE MY NINA

round round the posies

2008-12-22T00:12:00.003+08:00

WAITING
impatiently.
grumbling like a kid.

My uncle's at my house, at this time.
I wanna talk to E-in on the phone.
Waiting for this uncle of mine whose infamous;
for staying at someone's place till late.
I've got to entertain him, and his wife.

Suddenly, I feel like piercing my eyebrow.
All cause of his fault.
I'm wondering what it feels like to pierce.
Never get to experience it at all,
though I did when I was younger.
Had some plans to pierce the nose;
back in secondary school.
How? Should I?
Maybe have multiple piercing on the ears..?
And then try the eyebrow.
LEFT OR RIGHT?

I miss Muhammad Farihin very much...! Cant wait to meet him later in the morning....Am trying very hard to get hold of my brother's car for night driving with them, before he enters. If succeed, anybody is welcome to sit at rear seats. =)
Still trying to psycho my mum into letting me go out at night..... How guys? Up for it...?
Boys on the bike, girls in the car.. =)

Dani, dani, have fun aye, jln2... Gwe rindu kamu banget... (correcto?) hahaha..

kebaboom!!

2008-12-20T00:53:00.000+08:00

CHANGE
the song.
thinkings.

No more 2 weeks!
Only 4 days..
and maybe the once a week routine;
till the next 4 months...

I will miss my boyfie,
for the next 5-6 days onwards.
Refraining from meeting
guys, that is.

Starting the new module
on the same day he's entering.
I might not be able
to concentrate.

HELP...!

Oh, everyone, I miss Daniella Imaniar...! She's already touched down in Jakarta, and just left me a tag at 21--HRS... Why is everyone leaving me? Why? After she's back, Farihin will be in camp... Its like, this life is never complete, am i right?

Y.O.U//M.A.D.E//M.E//M.I.S.S//Y.O.U (both of you.)

//Farihin's out for night riding. And I cant sleep. I miss him so much, I miss sleeping to his voice. Now, what?\\

im on my knees, looking for the answer

2008-12-15T15:37:00.000+08:00

HUMAN
make mistakes.
make us impefect.
A day before my 19th Birthday, a lot of things happened. And it's somehow the best, though wasnt like the last week's outing for bowling......

8AM - 5PM.
FLEAMARKET STALL AT PASIR RIS EAST CC.
Good earnings. =) No pictures yet, waiting for Dani to upload it.
Thanks Dani and Kina for the beautiful necklace of a red cat...!
Thanks Shanaa for surprising me with cakes and the present...!

7PM - 11PM.
BOWLING WITH BANDITS.
Thanks to all for the cake, and for the wishes... Loves.. =)

1AM-7AM.
NIGHT RIDING.
The part where it got interesting for me, was when we entered OCH, my first and mybe last.
Marina Barrage and Yishun Dam.. The proper riding unlike last time. =)

8AM - 10.30AM.
ZZZZZ AT YUNI'S.
Got to sneak into her house when her parents went out to work.. GOD!! =)

12NN - 6PM.
CONTINUE ZZZZZ AT NENEK'S.
Was very very very tired. What to do right...? Hahaha... At this time, there were lots of wishes in my handphone.. =) Thank you all!!

Hectic aint it?

11TH DECEMBER ~ Happy 19th Birthday Haikal!!!
14TH DECEMBER ~ Happy 3rd Month with ELMO!!! (p.s: I love you very very much!)
18TH DECEMBER ~ Happy 19th Birthday Azlina!!!

23rd December ~ Bandits Sentosa Outing!!! =)

if i move like this... shake shake!

2008-12-08T15:10:00.000+08:00

PULSE
up and down.
high and low.

Bedok Bandits Bowling Outing....
5th December 2008

In need of practice...

Ate dinner at Ayam Penyet Ria at Lucky Plaza... This outing was like a farewell outing for Mr Salman Farhad... NS on 12th December....

Next in line, Farihin, then Bazli... AIYOYOYO..... Sad seh, my ELMO will be in camp on 6th Jan... And me, will spend 2 weeks as a lonely ass. Nah, maybe just hang arnd with Bandits... =)

Ouh, before bowling, played Daytona, and I was last, got a shitty vehicle.. Cause, with Auto, I always managed to beat Farihin, who always use Manual..... So, something was wrong somewhere... GRRRRRRR....

BUT, I got first in bowling in my team, at least... hahaha...

More camwhores of the normal Vainpots of Bedok Bandits...

Getting Funny looks

2008-12-02T15:09:00.002+08:00

APPRECIATE
my hands are cold.
i got gloves.

DANI-FARIHIN TOWN OUTING
29th November 2008

Went out with Ms Daniella and Mr Farihin to town.. In search of shops... But couldnt find some of it... Oh well... PICTURES

shivering. flu sucks!

2008-11-26T20:54:00.003+08:00

HAYWIRE
im drowsy.
i wanna run.

For the first time, when Im this sick, I feel like I wanna run and cycle aimlessly. Thinking that this might be the only way I could clear my thoughts, clear the stress, or just maybe, help me think of what I should do next. Apparently, I'm looking forward for gym session. Looking forward to eating fruits in the morning, looking forward to be running in the morning all by myself.

Shit, just when I thought that nothing is going to happen, I learnt that one of my frienemies is gonna be entering camp the same time, same place as Farihin. SHIT, I tell u! Hopefully not the same bunk, but well, they should just get to know each other I must say, FUCK. Help me think, no I cant think.

I wanna cut my hair prior to this trainings, which I hope for more consistencies in the future. Cut my hair in crazy styles. I never get myself to cut in styles that well, make me look, wild.. (?) haha........ or maybe just let my hair grow, grow, GROW, and do perms, again.. I miss the volume...

Now, whenever I feel hungry, my mind is (mostly) saying, FRUITS. But well, been craving so lotsa things this week. First was Lasagne(still havent got it, cant find the cheapest), then Fish n Chips(got it at Jurong East), and NOW, QIJI's popiahs(SOON). All Huda fault, she bought it yesterday,and I was famished, I had one for myself, and chopstick-fed Farihin.. Thank you Huda... =)

I was wondering, what I should buy if letsay, I have KA-CHING in my wallet, maybe buy myself eyeliner(haha.. mine has retired yesterday.. in need of a new one i must say.), buy the contact lens solution, new jeans(3 pairs?), lots and lots of sleeveless shirts, and lots and lots of colourful cardigans... I need hoodies with lots and lots of designs, patterns, colours.. Im a colourful chick, am I? Oh, and I need lots and lots of pump shoes of different colours as well, the ones that really fit me feets snuggly like a cat.... Well, my birthday is very very very near, you know the rules, give me MONEY ya'll!! Bear in mind, you guys should give me $$ that can at least let me buy one of the things I just stated above... READ CAREFULLY!!

I need a job, quick... Anyone who has a part-time job with at least needing me to work graveyard shift???!

GET WELL SOON MUTI MUTI!!!

arghhhhh!!!! save the red footrest!

2008-11-23T12:27:00.003+08:00

DILEMMA
some things just happened.
it happened on us, apparently.

Got to be proud I must say, I managed to sneak out and spend my night outside with the rest for riding. My first, and mybe my last to be experiencing riding with them. *shrugs* Though our time was mostly spent at ECP lying on benches, it was an experience for me. Especially for me who dont usually be able to be out of the house after 10pm, or 10.30pm, whichever you are satisfied with.

Gonna be at Novena today to take the Free Passes from California Fitness. Big brother is following instead of Kak Faezah, so yeah, I think Im driving his City around town today, before going to Bugis to meet my Elmo aka Farihin for Madagascar date. =) *jumping in the air~*

Giving him the squeeze of the hands till it hurts, just so that he feels better of certain things that had happened in the last few days. Seeing the faces of distraught people I was with, made me more worry. I hope this is just a dream, a nightmare to begin with. Let's all sleep, and wake up from the dream.. Its so hard to accept. Slowly, I'm hating them.. Though thinking to be one, one day, maybe, if this still goes on..

sore throat killing...

2008-11-19T23:35:00.007+08:00

SICK.
sore throat.
smoking just made me more worse.

Tuesday, right after BB, went to meet dearest Kak Faezah.. Accompany her for her job interview... Went home straight after eating at Food Culture, and bumping into this California Fitness guy for free trials. And yes, I'm taking that free trial. And Kak Faezah is my guardian, cause Im below 21. Apparently, the 19years old will be driving the guardian arnd. How irony.. =D

Today, right after school, meet up with her again, at Vivo. Me being stupid, didnt even look out to Daiso to buy the frames. Slenger... Waited for Mr Farihin to fetch me, while planning on how Ms Faezah escape from Vivo to Bedok.. End up, she went home with Mr Trainer, that buffed-up Imran.. *drools...*

give me time

2008-11-16T21:14:00.004+08:00

STRESS
in 2 days time.
hopefully lesser points.

I woke up this morning and felt like finding a job and just work work work. Get all the problems all out of my head and get money thru the easiest way. I feel like giving up on being so Entrepreneur-al.. The beads are eating up more into my capital.

Mum is getting better by the day, she still abit dizzy here and there. I was glad I stayed at home today, relatives came streaming in like nobody's business. I'm happy my grandmother came earlier.. I miss her so much. Shared with her, our favourite snack, Dark Chocolate. While she was downstairs, talking to mum, I got the time to change my bedsheets and wash the used ones. I'm a happy girl. =)

(let me settle all my other problems which have been bugging me lately. give me some time to face you, as i dont want any anger in our conversation. im still hurt though. so, dont force me. send my thanks to your boyfriend for trying to help.)

being able to breath.

2008-11-14T13:18:00.004+08:00

GIVE UP
i tried, and suffered.
but i cant take it anymore.

11th November 2008

Our flea market date is confirmed. It will be on the 13th December 2008, a day before my birthday. Please do come to our stall and support us.

Stall No.: 10
Date: 13th December 2008
Venue: Pasir Ris East CC foyer
Time: 8am to 5pm

Note to self: Please bring in lotsa $$. =D

Some pictures from the registration of the flea market at Pasir Ris and IKEA. With my dear Daniella. Enjoy the pictures.

Anyways, mum discharged from the hospital. I miss her soo much. Welcome home!

To Farihin,
Happy 2nd monthasary! I love you... Hope this relationship will last long... 14 seems to be more than just a number for me. I hope we can celebrate, but not now, my mum is still sick..

Cat and Duck Theory.

(Sometimes, I feel its not worth being your friend, when you don't even trust me. I'm not a robot, I have feelings, when you decided to ignore me totally on that fateful day. I tried to forget about that incident and just forgive you, but well, that's the last straw, you decided not trust me. I GIVE UP. Cause, I've plenty to think and worry about. I have feelings, but you didn't even care one bit. No apologies from you.)

Note: this is my blog, i have the right to say what i feel, though it may seem that you will be angry or hurt by this, but it doesnt occur to you that im hurt by you. square now?

Quack quack Meoww Meowww!

2008-11-05T14:32:00.002+08:00

MEOWW.
1 cat.
4 ducklings.

Yesterday was a day for me to be a nanny to 4 ducklings. Missy Kitty attending to 4 very active DUCKLINGS.

2 girls and 2 boys. Had promised those 4 to bring them to the movies to catch the High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

Brought them to Arcade after the movies, and ate McFlurry while waiting for my uncle to fetch us before going to my Aunt's place for dinner.

Whats for dinner: my handmade Macaroni Cheese, Mushroom soup and Sweet corn. =)

Next outing with the kids: Wild Wild Wet.
When?: To be confirmed with my schedule.
Who is going: Fatin Munirah, Afifah, Muhd Syafiq and Muhd Khairi. Still counting.
Theme: Cats and Ducks (Hahaha!!)

i was five and he was six

2008-10-31T22:42:00.002+08:00

BANG BANG.
he shot me down.
bang bang i hit the ground

that monday date didnt went too well.

movie sucks.
brideshead revisited - religious!! haha.
sentosa rained on us.
we(HE) lost his bike keys.
which, was left at the bike.
someone found it - thank god!
the parking charges was 6bucks.
that cashcard got 5bucks.
and i top up for him.
end up, it didnt deduct any amount at all.
and tts all.

what matters was that i spent time with him.
though the activities were blearghhh! it went well, as usual.

wednesday was spent with dani. and elmo. alpukat session.
i want alpukat again, though that shop really puts a big amount of ice.
next time, it'd be at the indo shop.

replying tags//
shai: its k, first time someone spammed my tagboard.. haha.. do that often. =) imy, and ive quit escape btw.
dani: haha.. cueball. da sombong, mentang2 da jd abg2 polis. nyek arh! imysm babe! need to meet you again for another alpukat session. i din know elmo reli loves it. =)
lin: hey hey... sorie lmbt reply. anyways,long time never see u too... but well, we can try to make some time and plan meeting up.. =) and well, of course, im cute cute...like u too...

teehee. i hate u

2008-10-26T14:25:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABANG!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AYAH!

Bro is in KL with aunt. And I'm bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
Can you just bring me to a place, where I cant be bored. bored. bored. bored.
Going Escape later to return the uniform. Haha. I got terminated.
So much for study break and going back to work after that. I dont wanna know at all. Maybe weekends for me is to study what I cant cramped into my brains during the weekdays.

Classes have been unfair lately, its like the modules just continues, no holidays. How in the world am I gonna be reading all the notes when I got new notes coming in the way.. Oh well...........

Escape Paycheck - COMING SOON. BMC Paycheck - forever missing (7mths and counting) fuck BMC. One minute its at Dhoby Ghaut, the next, its at Ang Mo Kio, the next JURONG EAST!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! Whats up with the management (i wasnt a part of the management)...?!!!

Ouh well, tomorrow is a day of a getaway, from my studies, school... just relaxing... with someone... It was suppose to be 4 days of not meeting, but we compromised, and agreed with 2 days. Hahaha.. 10.5 hrs moree!!! READ THAT!

is thr such a thing as, kompang bike? haha. i feel like laughing, u ass.

park,zoo,market.

2008-10-22T13:02:00.003+08:00

WOOPEE?
everything seemed to be going nowhere.
im studying am i?

Another bunch of photos taken from Dani's camera. Aint it nice to be like this forever..

Alpukat and the first meeting with Sakina, who doesnt know where is Street 11. Hoho.. Funny lar she..

And the rest of the picture of the part-Bandits casual raya outing. My house, Nana's then Mimi's. And most of Elmo's picture are distorted. WOI! AMEK GMBR BTOL2 ARH... Buat muka2 plak! Im gonna strangle you at the traffic light.. I dont care... =P

Gdluck with all those who are taking Olevels this year. =) Am gonna see if my 15th Nov is free, or maybe 14th. And sorie, 3rd,4th,17th,18th are booked. Try other dates alright... Next Alpukat, when?? Havent seen my CUEBALL friend for 3 weeks already. =(

CUEBALL.ELMO.CASANOVA. So fast aye they all? Next would be who then?

lets enter here, and exit there.

2008-10-18T23:03:00.002+08:00

LEG/BUTT CRAMP.
thanks to the long rides from ecp.
now i cannot walk properly.

let the pictures do the talking.

whoever said i failed my TP?
dont jump to conclusions.

Bandits Raya

2008-10-13T12:27:00.003+08:00

6TH OCTOBER 2008

The mysterious man. Haha.

Went on a date with dearest Elmo,(hee), on Monday morning for breakfast at McDonalds' and played pool.

11TH OCTOBER 2008

Went Raya-ing with Bedok Bandits. Total 24 people. A lot right... And, only 6 people are entitled to travel by bike. hehe.. I was one of them... Which is a torturous ritual for me, to get on the bike, trying to get the kain get at the right place, so that i wont look 'sexy' like some people say... HURHUR.

So, which one is hotter? Zai or Fifi..?
-Obviously Fifi for Shanaa -
HAHA

Spot the couples.

Bedok Bandits.

Overall, the best raya-outing ever. Cause Elmo is in PINK, and I managed to save up on my EZLINK fare. Hehe.

..fuck...fuck..

2008-10-09T22:09:00.005+08:00

fuck.
one more mth.
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck.

im still sad.
but i guess it runs in the family.
twice.
two.
dua.
fuck.
why do i always like to waste my parent's hard earned money..???!!!
fuck.

thankx arh abg for the "buy BIG gulp, and drown ur sorrows." (=_=)"
thankx nana n family for consoling me, though at the hosp.
thankx nana for the cigg. i need more. im fucking sad. was actually. ILY BABE.
thankx elmo and mimi, for hearing it out. and and and mostly elmo, for trying to console me. thankx for meeting up.. i need that.. ILYSM!
and A SPECIAL thankx for my parents for the support and encouragement... I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, no matter how much you guys love nagging at me for not doing this, doing that...

and to my dear gf, thanks for trying to call me when you heard the news. ILY dani!! sorrie if i didnt pick up or sms you back. i wasnt in a mood during that time... was just too lazy to pick up the phone after that. im soo sorrie dear.. i'll make it up for that k.

(ever wonder who's elmo?) no harm guessing. i love ELMO, the sesame street plushie i just bought.

When the clock strikes nowheere

2008-10-05T23:44:00.004+08:00

26 SEPTEMBER 2008

I skipped the last lesson of my class, just so I could finish up doing something before Raya at Cik Tipah's house, and also to have time cleaning up my room.

1 OCTOBER 2008

Open House - Maternal Side.
Granny's.
Aunt's.
Uncle's.
Mine.

Sorry, got so caught up with myself in the car, before and after entering KPE.. Haha.

Caught my BROTHER sleeping in my Granny's room, throughout the day.

My wannabe-lookalike-hady mirza cousin,Suaidi. Does he?? Gosh, prasan.. Haha..

3 OCTOBER 2008

Met up with Fahmi and Dani for BNJS. And goodbye, my CUEBALL friend. Be a good POLICEMAN ok... =p

Then went house-visiting with dearest relatives -Maternal Side - AGAIN!

ELMO,ELMO: That's my PINK, sama tk? OR you might prefer the purple one?

4 OCTOBER 2008

Stayed at home one whole bloody day. Had wore the makeup, but there were a lot of guests who came.

5 OCTOBER 2008

Stayed another day at home - AGAIN! (I know BORING!) Well, one family came, and we waited for my uncle to arrive.. but he didnt showed up... This is what happened. Just look at the time...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!

2008-09-30T20:19:00.001+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!
maaf zahir dan batin.
da kemas rumah belom tu?!
It's a sad melody, to see Ramadhan come and goes. It seems soo fast. It seems that I've diligently fast on the days that I can fast, well, except for some misfortune, such as working, being sick.. I KNOW, REASONS AND MORE REASONS.

Fahmi dearest, Ben and Jerry's is confirmed on Friday, right..? He owed me since April seh.. Pantat, how long was that?! Takpe2, Friday kau ble mintak maaf byk2.. Haha.. And, a need to meet him right before he goes for his NS on Tuesday. I just wanna see him BOTAK.. Haha.. Will see if I can send you till Lim Chu Kang k if the rest of Bandits join along... =p

Dani dani, Ramadhan is ending, that means no more fasting, and well, ALPUKAT date is nearing too!! My mouth is watering thinking of it.. I hope the ones near your place is ENAK. haha. Sorie, I dont know how to say Indo much, was born more of the Negri Sembilan side.

An update of my room, tidy tidy.. But there's a lot of "selit2" around the secluded areas. Haha.. My study table is only occupied by the Planner. ONLY. haha. OKok...

Yeah yeah yeah, besok raya! Yang saper2 tk puasa, tkle raya!!! =p

shits.

2008-09-28T23:03:00.000+08:00

FUCK.
been cursing a lot today.
what's wrong with me.
Been happily breaking my fast outside. Though, it comes with a price. My room is ever not ready YET. My living and dining room is on its way to "ready".. And since I'm having a hard time cleaning my room, I've been cursing and swearing under my breathe. Is my fast still counted? I dont know.. Just gonna payback.

What is soo wrong with me nowadays..? Wait, fuck, like someone had put in, has a lot of meaning. But with me saying it, it means I'm not in a good mood. Imagine, the door lift had closed and was about to escalate, these two youngster rushed to the lift, seeing that I couldnt do much to open the door lift for them, the elder one gave 2 FUCKING middle fingers.. What is wrong with them?! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!! FUCK YOU LAR!!

I'm in a bad mood right? To see that my room is mainly/mostly inhabited by other people's stuffs. Wait, that's not it. It's the neverending cleaning up. Well, arranged myself to clean one area to another. Study table - Checked. TV Stand - Checked. Make up table - Checked. Shelf - Checked. Boxes beside my table - Checked. Left with my bed, my wardrobe, my bedside table and the other fucking things that shouldnt be in my room. ADMIT - That I'm partly annoyed by the other stuffs that isnt mine in the first place. DONE.

Cooled down when doing the Snow Cornflakes at Shanaa's house. At least, its done, nicely done except for the texture of the cornflakes. Haha.

*Elmo, I miss you. Though we met just a couple of hours ago. =(
*Cannot wait for the 11th for Bandits raya outing.. =)

Egg-sited version.

2008-09-25T15:35:00.003+08:00

WE WERE FRIENDS.
but the novelty wore off.
cause you're the one who made it.
This week has been ever so exciting. Birthday celebrated with handmade cake from me to the birthday boy. Yes, this month really saw me baking lots of different pastries. =)

Happy 12th Birthday Khairi!

And an outing with the BMC peeps, Suria, Nazirah and Jasmine. Went to Han River, food was ok, but I think Sakura Buffet taste better.. Haha... I need real food!

Just a picture of us buka-ing at McDonalds! =)

innie minie mo.

2008-09-21T02:15:00.003+08:00

NEW & OLD.
bought new stuffs from IKEA.
and iftar-ing with BANDITS.
Friday, before school, went to IKEA with Dani dearest. In our minds, there was actually nothing that we wanted to buy. But as we were walking down the aisle, looking through each of the things, we managed to keep track on what we actually WANTED to buy. Morning blues aye. Haha.

Bought our stuffs, each almost the same things, though spending power wasn't there for us to buy all that we wanted. For letsay, the clock, the drawers(the red ones I wanted), the small boxes(they no longer sell it), and what more shall I say, maybe the entire STORE. haha

So, I went to school, with half of the things with Dani, and the rest stuffed in my school bag. Had slept entirely throughout the journey to school. What is becoming of me..? I WAS DAMN TIRED. The need to rush to different places. And mind you, it's not like rushing from Tampines to Simei. Its like rushing from Tampines to Bukit Batok, then go back Tampines, before heading of to Town area. ALL IN A DAY. Its been that way ever since. Going out at 8am and reaching home at 7pm. Irony for a school girl.

**********************************
Yesterday, Bedok Bandits decided to Iftar together - LAST MINUTE. Thank God I decided not to go to JB with my parents, and risking being bored to death from rotting at home. Haha... Shanaa got there last minute too. Happy I wasnt the only GIRL. =)

Pictures! (Tired to type more)

letting it out.

2008-09-17T20:44:00.003+08:00

WHAT DO YOU WANT?
suddenly, just suddenly. why?
did i ever deserve this?
When can I ever get the peace that I want? Forget about it. I CANT BE BOTHERED. Anyways, somebody fetched me from school today.. <3(THANK YOU!) Saw a couple of Escapians who are meeting up other Escapians to iftar. I'm sad, I didn't know about the iftar thing. But oh wells, it was fine, afterall, I'm on study break remember. =)

Life has been such an indulgence, that sometimes, I forgot to look at the calendar. Less than a month left. Stage 5.1 CLEARED. arghhh!! 3 more weeks!! 3 bloody weeks! =))

So, Dani gf, IKEA is still on for Friday, BUT, I will not be able to iftar with you on that day. My dad is still angry with me for going home after 11.30pm. Sometimes, I wonder, when is my curfew, cause, he said 11.30PM?! Is he trying to tell me that my curfew is 11.30pm?! IDK!

I find some people KPO and menyibok, and it annoys me VERY MUCH.. I know your intentions are nice, but I have my own rights not telling you every details of my life. And please give me space, cause Im just not interested to tell EVERYBODY about it. If you don't understand, please go back to school and pray hard they will teach you better next time..

//wah, i look so different seh before and after working. WAH.... (ouh ya, its just PVA glue.. easy aye?!) =p

and the girls, ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

2008-09-15T12:06:00.002+08:00

I'm going back at my words... LOL....
If you have been reading my previous post, there is this particular post that I state all the criteria thingy. Its going back at me.. Haha.. BACKFIRED!!! Shit.

I wonder when can I break my fast at my granny's house, I miss her soo much... And the rest of the cousins..... I missed the times on how we used to stay at each other's house during Ramadhan, and make kueh raya ourselves... And also the time, we decided to play badminton downstairs, ending up buka at 12nn.. =) Memorable.. That was last time, when we were still schooling in Secondary..

Soo, gonna make myself damn free to make my own chocolate chip cookies for my family and Cik Tipah's as well.... It has been my signature to be making brownies, and now chocolate chip cookies.. Hee, chocolate woman........ =D

Kak Eja, oh Kak Eja, biler mau buka sema sdare...???? Its already the third week.. And I'm booked again. Thursday with the BMC people, Friday is with Dani... This week, da tkle kuar sgt... So, left with the fourth week...

ElMo eLmO ElMo eLmO.. =)

weird? yes.

2008-09-14T23:58:00.006+08:00

WEIRD BUT TRUE.
3-in-1 mixture.
No. 14
How come everything is associated with the No. 14? Come to think of it, it was a mere coincident. With the fact that my birthday falls on the No. 14. Then there's this MERE coincident, that happens there were 3 things that are similar happened. Ok, this is complicated. As far as I want to make things UNKNOWN, I'm making it more complicated.. This is such a complex formula that I've to solve and at last boils down to what I wanna explain, which, I don't think comes to an end. I give up.

But to those who knows, knows arh! Haha.. I'm still quite shock to learn about it. Maybe 14 is just soo special to me and to some as well. =D

im singing, are you?

2008-09-13T13:13:00.002+08:00

FEELINGS & INDULGENCE.
When you don't expect much,
everything seems special.
Thursday iftar-ed with him at Airport, Popeyes. Well, that venue was supposed to be a surprise, but he blurted it out at the last minute, cause he forgotten. Hee, it's ok, Popeyes is one of my favourite places to eat. =)

Was in the skytrain towards T1 from T2, that he gave me a gift, unexpectedly. I did glance to see a chocolate, and nothing else. But, after being told to see again, I opened the bag, and saw a teddy bear sitting inside, IN RED! I almost cried!! I wasn't expecting much about the gift, but well, this is making me speechless... FINE, I'll just stop typing about it... Ok, it's sweet seh.

East Coast was the next destination after eating. But we got lost trying to find the carpark, which made us walk from one end to the other. Thank God, my leg was fine, if it was in the same condition as it is in the morning, I would need my crutches. LOL. So, met the other 2 more friends of ours at ECP. (a lot of misadventure. we kinda make the jam at the narrow roads.) Spend the night, listening to this couple bickering on where to date, where to go after eating, etc.. So, as usual, if Im listening, obviously I'll be the one entering the conversation.. Haha.. =p

Reached home around 11.30pm, and listening to the father nagging at me. Heee...

The british flag frame, made personally by me to Dani, and the necklace and bangle is from Dani to me. And that teddy bear and chocolate, is from HIM to me. =) I'm a happy girl.

**

2008-09-13T08:44:00.001+08:00

***********************

sometimes, i miss him very much. i miss seeing him smile, his laughter, and his "sometimes lame" jokes. i know im still not over him, when out of a sudden im letting the tears flow down. i cant forever be this way, no longer are there guilts. but just a longing for him at times. when that feelings came, i'd just open up some old files, and look at his pictures. i still keep our pictures, or whatever things that would remind me of you in a box. but, it seems, ever since we broke up, i didnt open it anymore. maybe, after this, i'll open it and look through one by one. just expect some tsunami on the way aye..?

second week.

2008-09-11T09:40:00.002+08:00

GEYLANG SIPAKU GEYLANG
skola kat situ.
buka kat situ.
jln kat situ.
wahduh!! capek dey!
Wednesday saw me iftar-ed with the gundus of the east. Total 9 people.. Dani, Farz, Shahidah, Ayim, Hanafi, Ayu, Faizal and Wan.... Venue was at the Di-Tanjong Katong Restaurant. Food was okay-lar, but since I'm a very light eater, it made me full though.

After eating, went around walking at Geylang Bazaar. Met mostly Escapians.. Hee.. Anyways, PIX here!! I don't want to type a long entry... =)

i see red in the air.

2008-09-08T16:05:00.004+08:00

ON STUDY BREAK.
(8th Sept 2008 till 11th October 2008)
don't ask me about work.
i swear, i'll bite your head off.
and then i cant fast as a result.

So, yesterday was Alex's and Fahmi's last day of work. Both were thrown into the bumboat pool.. I wasn't there to see it but well, Fahmi told me the entire account of it. =) And yesterday, was the last day for me before I go for a month of study break.. Or maybe forever? I'm not sure myself, since my classes are from 3 to 6, weekdays, I think I wanna find another part-time job, which eventually only eats up one of my weekends. Or, maybe I'll come back to work. Whatever it is, let's just hope I can make up my mind after 9th October.

I cannot wait to break fast for wednesday, though I've to be there earlier to book the places, since someone quoted, "skolah kau dkat per ngn geylang." Farzanah dear, please confirm with me the number of pax who will be joining us before Wednesday afternoon.

Thursday, thursday, thursday... Hmm, I don't know how to say it. =) I'm just happy right now.. I don't know why.. Urm, urm, ok quit it... Shall just stop here...

Someone messaged me in a most.. (Aku ble kembang mode) hee.. For no reason, I just cut off the sms-conversation we were having, cause he was with his friends, don't want to disturb.. Haha.. Shanaa, I need to tell you.. Wahaahaa!!!

P.S: still havent decide yet where to iftar.. =( Dani, you following this wednesday right. I'm trying my best to make your "surprise gift" a surprise.. It's still not ready yet, unfortunately..
=*(

Some outDATED pictures

laughing my way to heaven

2008-09-03T22:05:00.008+08:00

I WAS LIMPING IN JOY TODAY.
First, I can now shake my legs till 24th without booking anymore extra driving lessons. By right I can cancel the excess lessons I've booked earlier. All because, I can do Stage 4 tomorrow! And that means, 5 more lessons towards Stage 5.01!! =) There's no need for me to worry about not reaching Stage 5.01 by 24th September and risk getting my TP date cancelled....

Second, someone messaged me. Maybe he was bored at work, that decided to sms me. But oh wells, I was happy. =)

There's no third, in case your wondering. Only, I didnt managed to break my fast at home today.

Sooo, yesterday, Farihin fetched me from school, but we had to wait for the rain to subside before going home. I kinda slipped my feet of the footrest, which explained why I'm limping of joy instead of jumping.. Thank God there's no blue black marks on it, or else, I dont know what to explain to my mum.

Thanks Shanaa for acknowledging me on the time of breaking fast, and keeping me accompany in the bus...

ok, crite da basi ehkx, laen kali jgn LETAK motor kat lantai tau.. Haha... ;)

please stop it, its a mistake.

2008-09-01T22:51:00.002+08:00

I don't keep changing guys. Stop it. Once is enough, stop messaging me. Nana, he's repeating again, kept assuming stuff... Now, its a mistake... I hate him... He just don't understand my situation... He don't understand me.. Why is it soo hard...? My family won't accept you anymore, so do I.. Yes, I'm no longer at BMC, so? What makes you think that you can help me get back on track studying again?! Well, I can manage myself, I'm studying again, but not at BMC. Why do you keep saying I follow what people tell me...? Am I like 9 years old? I'm 19 for goodness sake, not some kid, there's really no need for you to tell me my next move. I managed myself for 5 months now... I know what's wrong, and what's right.. Don't tell me, all guys are the same, they go for sex and all... You still don't know, that everyone is different... And why? Because you thought you were the only guy who is fucking good enough for me?! IS IT? Because of you, I suffered tremendous nightmares for 3 months... BECAUSE OF YOU FUCKER!!!! Now, I hate you! I've forgave you, but you repeat the same thing again,and now, I shall never forgive nor forget...

And even if I find a guy for myself, I doubt he's gonna be what you think it is... Guys I know, are not like your friends, or maybe you... They are totally different...And it's my choice to choose who, not yours, cause now, you are nothing to me. I choose my life, you can move on.. Cause I'm moving on quite well...

I sometimes wonder, whether are you one of the "special" kids who just wouldnt understand people and keep assuming. Imagine, when I said that I dont want you to contact me anymore, your reply was, "IS IT BECAUSE OF A GUY?! TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL, TOLD YOU TO GO STUDY, BUT YOU NO LONGER STUDY... ITS ALL BECAUSE OF A GUY...!!" Hold on, since when I brought up, because of a guy, Im no longer at BMC.. Oh yeah, you are the guy who made me withdraw from that place... There's no ader guy... I cannot accept on how you say my guy friends as 'JANTAN'... Stop it seh.... CB CB CB!!!

i just realise

2008-08-31T20:18:00.002+08:00

I LOVE MY SATURDAY!
cough cough, though.

Went RSAF Open House with Shanaa, I'm still sick for goodness sake... But oh well, Fir and Farihin were to fetch us, so we OK GO. (I know my english suck for now) Met Raimi and Adi at Eunos Bustop.. But Raimi's bike got something wrong in the middle of the journey, that we reached Peninsula around 9.20pm, when we can actually reach at 8.45pm.. Kecoh skejap...

Reached Esplanade, met the rest of the Bandits... But around 10.30pm, decided to have dinner at LJS Marina Square.. And I was restless, decided not to look at my phone or the watch, cause I well know that I'm super late and have past my curfew, which is 10pm...

Finished their food around 11.30pm before heading home.. A few metres into the journey, Raimi's bike stalled again, and he tried kickstarting his bike for like forever.. But since I was VERY LATE ALREADY, Farihin sent me home first.. The next thing I knew, I was holding on for dear life, cause he sped all the way, just to sent me home early.. Thank God, but I reached home around 12.30pm... And Shanaa, around 1am.. There's 2 guys who helped 'fixed' Raimi's bike.. Lucky him...

Oh well, that's my day... The next morning, WORK!!

help..

2008-08-26T19:17:00.003+08:00

IM SICK PEOPLE!!!!!
sore throats, flu and fever!

I managed to drive the car, with the most mistakes ever in my life...!!!
AND I seriously need to study and memorise the circuit and numbers by hard...!! =_="
The instructor was being nice though, he would always put on the hazard lights whenever I made a mistake.. I'm soo blur lar can.. Especially with me, being less talkative than usual.. Sore throat remember..? The instructor constantly teased me about the loss of voice..
Random: The statue, when seen from a certain angle, it looks like the fountain comes from the P****; go figure!!!

I'm stressed on making my best to book more lessons before 25th Sept.. Or else, no TP date for me!!
So far, I need to book 5 more lessons before the revision.. Grrr!! But oh well, waiting for the money from DaddyKu. I need to be online as often than usual, to see whether if there's people who cancelled their pracs last min... I have this feeling, Stage 3 is not gonna go well with me. Ok, I love the crank course soo much... No mistake there.. =)

**EDIT// I tried to find last min cancellations, ended up, someone cancelled tomorrow lesson at 8am.. And I got another lesson at 12.20pm. And the money that I transferred, hasnt been transferred to my account YET. I cannot book it, cause, I'M SICK and got nowhere else to go for almost 3hours, futhermore, I'm still not familiarise with the WEST side. IM EXTREMELY GOING FOR MELANCHOLIC MODE NOW. =(

I'm soo gonna be online everyday to check on the availability of the slots.. Not on my laptop though. BUT on my father's comp.

when I grow up

2008-08-25T23:02:00.003+08:00

A very big SORRY to Dani Dearest for the very 'prompt' uploading of the pictures we took at the airport. It's unlikely that I will be online for 3 times a week nowadays. Especially with a laptop that is lagging all the time, no matter what I do, be it editting pictures, leaving it for a second or listening to songs. SORRY again!!!!

Some backdated pictures...

Coffee Bean with Ms Daniella Imaniar Sukma Utomo...

And an advance birthday celebration for Muhammad Khairi Bin Abdullah at Swensens.. Since his birthday falls on Ramadhan..

And this is his sister, the monster since she was a baby..

I'm eyeing for the Red Headset and the RED specs from wherever the place Dani had stated... So what if I'm a RED FANATIC.. My room has a tinge of red all over... I still dont understand some typical malays, to judge and find the smallest fault in someone. WHATS YOUR PROBLEM? I have never gone across your world, don't you ever dare come near mine, and decided its okay to blurt out anything that can make you look cool. Hear ye, hear ye, this world isnt all about you. Think that. Not everyone has the same opinion as yours.

On a brighter note... The question of the week/month: Who do we look compatible with......? Had a blast laughing at KFC.. and yesterday, was a chilly day.. Linxi Linxi, I know your secret.. Hahaha... =D

thanks for everything

2008-08-20T22:46:00.003+08:00

Yesterday and today saw me meeting my gals, Shanaa Bestie and Dani Dearest. It was like a happy moment for me to catch up with them after 5 days of being in Malaysia... Given them their oleh-oleh... Though met Farz just now at her workplace, I didnt thought of bringing hers as well.. Soo, 29th je lar k.. =)

This 2 gf of mine, really made my day. They even opened up my eyes about Nin. I've been depressed lately, thinking of him, how I should just apologise to him.. Well, I miss him... The choice is up to me, to risk getting history repeating itself again, or just let the feeling of guilt go away by itself. Its hard, trust me.... Oh well...

Shanaa, that chat we had just now just goes to show how much we don't know what we want in life. We dont even know what exactly are we dealing with right now..... Hopefully one day, we can be certain about it... But the obstacle in getting what we want is greater that we think. Insyallah, one day, we will able to realise it. Thanks Sis for the ears.

Thanks Dani for brightening up my day, and almost made me deaf with your singing... Love you too!

*Did I say I was tired of dates? Yes, I did.. But perceptions and feelings changed.. Farihin just asked me out again.. =D anyway, get well soon, jgn rempit2 biler dapat motor nanti..

(follow with the flow kn kn kn? betol nana?!)

I wanna go to Bangkok!

2008-08-18T12:50:00.000+08:00

I'm back FANS!! =D
Truth is, I was desperate to get back to Singapore, cause I was missing everyone!!
From Shanaa to Bandits, to Working on weekends... To my laptop..
And most importantly, I was missing the place.. Where I've grown up for almost 19 yrs..

Despite all the changes in Malaysia from Singapore, I managed to adapt to it. Surprising! After 3 years of not going to KL... Oh well...

First Day - KL

Reached our home at the 34th floor around 3pm..

Went to KLCC, the place I'll always want to go, which reminds me alot of Singapore. Fine, I was homesick~~!

Second Day - KL to Kelantan

Almost 9 hours in the bus.. Cause they had to drop some villagers at their village. YAWN!
Didnt bring my camera that night, soo, didnt manage to capture the night life there...
I just wanna show you guys, how KELANTAN is almost like BANGKOK!! But too bad.. =(

Third Day - Kelantan

Went to Pengkalan Kubor, which is like, a ferry away from South of Thailand.. Sawadeeka!!
Bought a lot of cheap cheap steals from there. Got myself a retro spec for $4...!!! The rest, as they say its history...

And we had a chance to try on the SOMTAM, Thailand's rojak.. NICE!

After Pengkalan Kubor, headed to Kota Bharu Mall by bus for 50 min... And we had dinner at A&W... Long time didnt taste the food from there... And we were enjoying drinking the float, that I forgot about their irresistable WAFFLES!! Wasted lar!

Fourth Day - Kelantan to KL

Another 9 hours in the bus.. YAWN!! And by the way, scary encounter, the bus driver snoozed on the wheels at the 3rd hour of moving off. Thank God, he managed to picked himself up, and another 15 minutes we reached the pit stop for lunch.. If not, Im not sure, if I'm able to blog about it... Scary....

After we put pur bags back at home in KL, we headed to Masjid India, for shopping again, now, to find what people have 'kirim'...

Fifth Day - KL

Walked around The Mall, since I didnt went there for like 3 years already, just wanted to see the difference.... Well, ended up buying food and more food. Plus having Starbucks for tea-break... =)

releasing the pressure

2008-08-11T22:45:00.003+08:00

Hey BIG FANS! I know you guys are missing me!! =_+"

But, you are all gonna miss me sooo muchie CAUSE this coming wednesday, I'm gonna be going to Kelantan for a holiday.. Its been 1 year since I went overseas.. So, this is the time!! =)

Been going for classes, work, then classes.. Tiring ok.. The need of travelling towards Bukit Batok every weekdays... Anyways, to all Singaporean.. HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! Hope you guys did have a nice holiday over the weekends, instead of working your butt off.. Heee..

Been working, and I dont know how to say it. When you think you're at the top, there's always someone who is out there pulling you down like some nasty bitch. Can I just say, my only working day that went well was yesterday... Today was about hanging around myself at the second floor.. BORING..

Anyways, to those bitches who just kinda gossiped about everything, go to hell. You dont even know me, or even talk to me to judge me. Did I ever judged you? Nope. Nor do I talked it out loud during break infront of everyone. And dont even notice that a friend of mine was sitting in a corner listening. Not gonna be bothered, cause if I ever bumped into you, I'd still be smiling like nothing happened.. Just to show how wrong you guys thought of me..

And Farz, Kau naek Genting, aku kat KL. Haha... Nak kirim apaper kt KL or Kelantan?

unusual proposal

2008-08-06T11:00:00.002+08:00

Not been feeling well for the past few days. Had even felt like fainting on Sunday while working. The cramps are back. Shits. Not my cup of tea to starting the day.

Fahmi, Fahmi... Please dont kill me. Now, the deal here is, I am gonna treat you to Ice Cream ks. Happy? And in return, help me in the task.. Aites...?

FAHMI tagged me! =p
Now name 20 people you can think of right now.

1. Shanaa
2. Fahmi
3. Farzanah
4. Daniella
5. Farihin
6. Shahidah
7. Kameleah
8. Saniah
9. Shabrina
10. Suaidi
11. Khair
12. Suria Affiza
13. Hafizha
14. May Zaw
15. Michael Dinh
16. Durga
17. Nazirah
18. Helmi
19. Shaira
20. Aniza

And then answer the following questions below.
a)How did you meet 14?(May Zaw)
- From former workplace, BMC Academy. =)

b)What would you do if you never met 1?(Shanaa)
- Maybe my bestie would not be living 20 blks away..

c)What if, 9 & 20 dated?(Shabrina & Aniza)
- Urm.. not sooo sure..

d)Will 6 & 7 date?(Shahidah & Kameleah)
- Im lost for words... Who dont want to date Ms Universe..

e)Describe 3?(Farzanah)
- Ballistic, Funny, Loud, Crazy, Caring, Forgetful, Pretty... CUKUP k.

f)Is 8 attractive?(Saniah)
- Yes!! Maybe that's why Salihin goes head over heels for her.. =p

g)Describe 7?(Kameleah)
- Funny, Cool... =p

h)Know any of 12's family members?(Suria Affiza)
- Yeaps, but not too close.

i)What will you do if 18 broke up?(Helmi)
- I seriously dont know... hee, im a bad friend.

j)One word Describe 13.(Hafizha)
- Sweet

k)What language does 15 speaks?(Michael Dinh)
- English, Mandarin and Vietnamese

l)Who is 9 going out with?(Shabrina)
- Used to be with Joy and Dominic.. Now.. No idea

m)How old is 16?(Durga)
- 19...

n)Describe No. 5.(Farihin)
- 'r' karat.. Funny, caring... =)

o)When was the last time you spoke to 13?(Hafizha)
- Maybe a month ago...?

p)Who is no.2 Fave band/singer?(Fahmi)
- Urm.. Genre: Black Metal? Correct?

q)Will you ever like 4?(Daniella)
- URM... no comments.. Ask neigen..

r)Will you ever date 1?(Shanaa)
- Haha, when we both feel like going Lesbians.. =)

s)Is 19 single?(Shaira)
- Nopes. Zul has swept her from her feet.

t)what's 10 surname?(Suaidi)
- Hady

u)Would you ever be in relationship with 11?(Khair)
- Nopes.. He's my cousin.. =)

v)What is the school of 3?(Farzanah)
- Eh, What's your school name?!

w)Where does 20 live?(Aniza)
- From what I know, near Tampines North.

x)Favorite thing bout 16?(Durga)
- Loves to bully Nazirah

y)Wat is so good abt 12.?(Suria Affiza)
- She's irresistable, same like his boyfriend Khair.. =p

z)who's 17 to you?(Nazirah)
- My Malaysian Friend. Period.

Now choose 5 ppl do the quiz:
1. Daniella
2. Shanaa
3. Shaira
4. Farzanah
5. Shahidah

Brownies!

2008-08-03T01:56:00.004+08:00

I did something yesterday.... I kinda had my artistic mood and decided to do something with my plain photo frames... AKU RAJIN KN....

Today is the best ever. Maybe after a few months of torture, standing under the sun.. Had baking classes in the afternoon, by my own... With Shanaa's help... Splendid ending!!
Love you babe...!!

Just now was the Bandits BBQ pit... Had a very wonderful time with them.. It's been weeks since I last saw them.. Okok.. I lied, I had met some of them like the day before, to help buy some of the stuffs for the BBQ... Anyways... This is like the official reunion, for BOYS and GIRLS..

It was also Adi Sufiyan's Birthday...

In advance, SORRY SYASYA.

Thank you for everything!! Sayang korang-korang!!!
P/S: As a result of being the only camera woman/cameraman.. I was not in the picture for the group photo.... AKU MOGOK!

1st: Elmo

2008-07-31T20:47:00.004+08:00

I think I'm in love with Elmo, Chris Brown and Chris Rock.
Done deal... Shai, you can take your Johnny Depp away, I've found 2 new love...

Shopping with mum at Parkway Parade, saw me carrying a bunch of things that I can barely see my HANDS! Haha, kidding... Just some things that my mum brought along to Bukit Batok... Anyways, I saw my lovable Elmo there, and I want Elmo for my birthday.. Simple right?!

Soo, went home, and did some 'artistic' drawings for Elmo.. Hehe... My creativity has come back, I think..

Stayed at home the next day, ending up clearing, an de-clearing stuffs in my room... I manage to re-vamped my "oh-so-tidy" notice board into this..

Aku sooo Rajin kn...

P/s: I might make a decision for next year... Let's just see.. Maybe a ring on my finger.. Haha, Aku berangan BESAR dok! But who knows... It might be true.. =p

im smiling.. are you?

2008-07-27T21:26:00.001+08:00

This week has really been draining all my energy. Maybe its the weather or the hours of sleep I've been getting, that has been landing me in a heap of sickness.

Monday was spent going out with Helmi to Marina Square. Since he's in the East already, and he couldnt collect his bike that day, we planned to just settle in the Central. Heee...

We initially planned to do something, and as usual, with him, its all about movies.. But I got a better idea, BOWLING. =) Oh well, because somebody wanted to watch Dark Knight with me, but he go and watch with the other 2 people... Haiyas.....

After two rounds of bowling, with me thrashed like some unwanted rag... It's time for POOL... This time, I was like a professional, a teacher teaching the student... Hehe... Though, I also taught Helmi to bowl, and I lost TWICE!

I miss playing pool soo much, ever since we broke up... Cause, if not, it'd be our favourite game to play, besides arcade... Haish, now I'm missing him, and no worries, Shanaa, I wont message him, as much as I wanted to.... You know, I'm guilty of always on a lookout for his Orange RXZ whenever we're around our streets. Which, until now, I've never seen an Orange RXZ before... Kill me, wont you...

Anyways, to all JULY babies.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL. =) (to some.. again...)
EZA!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Had a mini gathering to celebrate Aniza's birthday at Simpang Bedok... Well, Farz was damn confident lar seh.....

Sarah: Farz, which stall are you intending to
go?

Farz: It's a coffeeshop........

Sarah: Obviously its like a coffeeshop, BUT WHICH SHOP?
Ria or Spize?
(Kamaleah and me were looking at each other with
questioning looks)

Farz: The round round thing LAR........

Sarah: Are you refering to Bedok Corner?

Farz: Eh, not Simpang Bedok arh? Got difference
arh?

CONFIDENT SAK KAU!!!! Klau dengan kau, TK KETAWA RABAK,
TK SAH! Enjoyed the outing babe!

Anyways.. Pictures....
With Farz, Shahidah, Ayim, Aniza and Kamaleah..

I got to say, someone was VERY cheeky just now.. You know what I mean, Shanaa......

But I'm loving work.. I'm smiling now...

Paragon Child.

2008-07-20T22:36:00.005+08:00

I think due to my busy yet boring schedule, I may have overlooked some messages my friends had messaged me through SMS, Tagboards, MSN and whatever ways you can think of. My bet guys... When I'm online nowadays, it has been only like 1hour, and for this week, 2 times... I'm sorry BIG FANS...!!!! Hahahaa...

Tags REPLIED BELOW:

Eza> Long time no see too huh babe... Yeah LAR, you are only left with Sept papers.. Grr, you can kiss BMC goodbye... Hurhur...

F4HM1> U dare to kill me? I'm like the damn cute and innocent girl... =p I was asleep waiting for your message.. and the next morning, I got very excited for the car prac, that I didnt have time to message yar... YELAR, nanti jumpa, aku kasi kau BIG AIR HUG AND KISSES. and then, we will spend time telling each other the STORY yang tergantong.. Tell Syasya not to be jealous... I'm too cute for her to handle.. HURHUR...

Farz> Farzanah PRINCESS?!!! Please ehk, jgn brangan lar berok... haha... InsyAllah, I will be free on that day.. Dengar2 birthday aku July per, soo, silakan belanja aku skali.. BECAUSE LAGIPN, AKU DA BROKE... Sad story lar kat sini... =p Tolong aku yer.. Hahaha.. Mana Birthday present aku yang LAST YEAR.. You still owe me Belo....

Shai> $50 ehkx? I will kinda pay you next mth, when I get the gaji.. Or I will ask Z to just post some picture with you with that UNIFORM.. How bout tat...? Anyway, I kinda "Share" nasi briyani with him yesterday.. Jgn jealous k babe.. Hehehehe.... And we walk under the umbrella together too... Hurhur.. But then dier nyer gay partner had to masok campur, nk share umbrella jgak... UR FRIEND ARH... baru nk romantik.. Hahahaha... Nah, JK!!! Anyway, Johnny Depp is MINE. not yours.. Shoo... U got Z already..

Dani!> I'm sorry, you see, I overlooked, and thought its your NIECE... haha.. its your cousin... Lalalalalla!!!!!! I wanna meet her... Omera omera.. Plus, your aunt... DONUT=FAT & LOVE=NEIGEN & MEOWW MEOWW...

Been making myself busy watching TV3 and Channel 5... And, solving Sudukos... And speaking of TV3, aku tau aku JIWA MALAYSIA!!, Gangstarz just finished, and I like 3.5 and Paragon Child. Imagine, Paragon Child is a group of 3 handsome/cute Filipino guys... They sang 3 malay songs, with no mistakes.. All their pronunciations are clear.. GOSH, I'm falling in love... With them... And One Nation Emcees are the BEST!.... Korang pandai2 cari kat YOUTUBE yer.... =) I'm a happy girl..

no point for discussion

2008-07-18T22:26:00.005+08:00

Kids, there's pictures!!

Oh, my only ETP picture. Haha...

Last week on Friday, went to Airport T3 with Shanaa, to meet Ms Farzanah Belo. Had lunch with her at Popeye. How I wish I'm working at TheBodyShop. Once I had confirmed the place, and now, I dont think I'll stand a chance to be working there. HwakHwak....

Then on Monday, Kak Eja met up with me, to catch on old times at Downtown East. Good news, and more good news. She's gonna get engaged soon to Mr Firdaus aka Bosta. Alhamdullilah.. I'm happy for both of you. And hear ye, hear ye.. It falls on my birthday, 14th December. Best seh, celebrate hers and mine. Need 2 BIG cakes. Hurhur... Now, I heard Swan is gonna have someone asking her in hand of marriage... Hmmm.... Haish, when will it be my time? And when will it be for my brother and Kak Suzy and Kak Ayuni... Grr... Mine will be later, no?

Had a fun time catching up with Kak Eja and Kak Ayuni... Though Kak Swan is now distant... I missed her very much, and to hear such stories of her really made my mind wonder why did she did all this..? I thought..... Haish.. I'm sad because of her sometimes...

Thursday, a lot of things have happened so far. I'm gonna be happy to say, I drive a car!! Ok, for the second time.. Hurhur... Cannot be soo happy... Cause I almost crashed... My feet couldnt function well. The instructor was nice, and very very funny... Glad he taught me all the basics. =) I got a BIG BIG SMILE ON MY FACE.

Was supposed to meet Helmi at Vivocity. Unfortunately, it was cancelled. It was a good news for me. I am able to meet this "I-love-red" girl whose niece is "I-love-pink",Omera. Eh, I like your niece's name... Very nice.. Tell your aunt that.. Wahahaha..

And since Thursday falls on the 17th July. I shall wish something to this girl.. Somehow, me and mum had celebrated her birthday with Durian Pancake as the opening dessert. Plus McCafe!! I like!!!

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY DEAREST DANI!!!

Love you babe... =)

**there's no use for discussion, there's no use for me to change my mind.
stop it. i dont want to hear it again... what is done, is done. dont force me. why cant you just understand?!

i missing someone or some people.

2008-07-14T22:37:00.001+08:00

"Its either Bandits or Escape."
"I've been dreaming of Bandits."

HAHAHA.

That's the most significant topic we have for each other now. Both bestie and me kinda agreed, "we need new people to hang out with, BUT, we are missing Bandits alot..." FAHMI, GO AND READ. =D

I really miss them mates.. =( and the only Bandits that I always meet are Fahmi and Farihin. Can puke you know...(Just kidding... Jgnlar marah dok) But hey, lets make another movie outing again.. Let's watch Hellboy.. Caught the first movie, very good, but confusing..

For those who learnt History, is there any link between Rasputin and Hitler's Swastika...??? NO LINK.. Except when Hitler tried to invade Russia. THATS ALL. My brother and me were debating on this fictional story line yesterday.. Hurhur..

I wanna go Sentosa and "tone down" my skin colour.. and hoping I'll get Parkway Parade Branch. Cause Tampines Mall, is "boring boring right?".. Dani, you seemed to be thinking what Im thinking. Congrats, 17th is in the calendar. Last minutes changes... =D And its my first Driving Prac.. WOOTS!

And to Helmi, GET WELL SOON. Im still having the backpains and the headaches.. =(

Shai and Z.. heee... SOOOO Sweet. And no worries, I dont think Escapians are reading this...

egg-sited VS melancoa-lily

2008-07-11T12:39:00.003+08:00

one more week towards sitting in that honda city.. i cannot wait... im too egg-sited! =)

right after i had my lessons, 1.01 and 1.02, the second class was fun though; met miss daniella at AMK, to spend time with her, since she is already bugging me about the 17th. its not in the calendar babe... you are not gonna celebrate your birthday this year... you shall sulk for all i care, and i'm gonna be like 1 year older than you are.. =p

but i did get you the irresistable oreo donuts.. and i want it again. shall we go AMK again, for the yummiest oreo donuts?? shall we?! other oreo donuts cant beat this.. you guys should try too. once you eat it, there's no words to describe it. =))

we kinda spent 1hour 15 minutes sitting in bus 22 and walking under the rain from 900+, just to meet up shanaa at the round market.. to pay up something... me and ms daniella were singing in "harmony" of with you song.. i had a luxury time laminating all my necessary items for those pracs. im smiling from ear-to-ear thinking about it.

oh well, after we met up with shanaa, each of us were singing one of chris brown's songs.. mine - with you, dani - forever, shanaa - no air. i am in love with chris brown.. whahaha!!! when we were singing, the rain had decided to be on our side, it kinda stopped - literally. however when dani was about to go home, it started to rain again... so, who's fault? DANIELLA.

**************
he msged me again, and im lost. should i reply or shouldnt i...? its true we've broken up, its true i've grown to hate him, after what he did to me. but its true that i still love and care for him. soo much for moving on.. pffttt... i hate this feeling... especially when i had talked openly of this BGR topic to my mum...

summing up all my never-ending problems, im sick and tired of datings. OFFICIALLY! grrr...

sorry PO, i felt the need to run away from you. yes, you. there's nothing wrong with you. im not ready yet. i just need us to be friends, not more than that. we may be close friends, but please, im mentally exhausted, and i need a rest from BGRs.

sorry A, i know you tried your best to contact me just to get to know me... and ive been giving those unwilling conversations with you... the reason? i dont like to start relationships in a very short time. ive learnt my lesson, and to tell you the truth, i wasnt even interested in you, sorry. thus, the reasons behind the reasons i had built up, just to say 'i dont want to meet you'. therefore, no datings.

for now, there's one guy im happy to befriend with, despite the age-gap. it seems that going out with him (not dating...) is always fun. its always about the movies. yeah, shanaa do agree with me.. eventually, most of the topics that we tend to discuss are more realistic and down-to-earth, rather than talking nonsense about practically EVERYTHING. i find that im more comfortable with those people who act and think maturely, rather than those who follow their heart and speak without thinking.

"its easy to find guys, its hard to find a man." - farz~

bottomline:
i dont need a boyfriend to make me happy.

SHE'S A BITCH. ---->

2008-07-08T10:58:00.002+08:00

kids, im shagged!! ive been working like full shifts for 2 straight days.. how shagged can i get??! i swear yesterday was a bit chaotic for me. first, haunted fog machine.. kwee hao had pressed the fog machine, and i re-pressed, and i think she pressed again, saying, its automatic, that it will stop by itself. then, the ushering came, i was the one panicked as usual, the guests and me and chris couldnt see where we were going. it was very very foggy. and as usual, naz pointed the mistake to me, of pressing the fog machine.. kept saying to don, to teach me about the fog machine... HAISH... thank god i told don about it a few minutes ago... and he told naz the real story...

but right after the real story, there was this joke they passed around about me! with reasons, farah isnt working today. fine, im the one who's gonna take the responsibility.. alex, u better stop showing the picture to everyone, including the security guard.. to eiss, stop calling me names.. if you cant stop, i swear i'll pinch u till its swollen.. and arifin... DELETE THAT PICTURE.... haha =_="

then the most chaotic moment, i swear i hate haunted's closing. and sorrie to din, i dont know a lot of haunted stuffs. but i did ask for u to teach me the vcd thing.. i saw that frustrated face la.. haish.. sad sad..

when work ended, briefings all done, shai, shanaa, zul, eiss, hui ling, fazuan and me, walked till alfresco, for food.. it was a last minute thing to eat there though... there were some stories going around... HAHA.. went home together with shai, shanaa and hafi in 17... and i was late as usual...

and today, IM SICK. gonna meet farihin later.. going tampines, simei then dhoby ghaut.. and i still havent check my pay yet... GAWD, how much did i received..? its been 3 days since it came out...

aye?

2008-07-05T12:22:00.002+08:00

to sab, i know you,yeah... met before on shanaa's birthday last last yr... hehe... long time right.. or maybe its last 3 yrs, where you guys kinda surprised her with the chicky.. i dont remember how many times we celebrated her birthday already.. hehe...

im just standing up for my friend and to amend what is wrong.. im not here to make a fuss, but still, if you were in my shoes, you would too right. i know this is a small problem, but somehow it got bigger.. and im glad it has been resolved by those who are not siding anybody.. i thank that person very much, and sorry for being such an ass in defending my friend's rights.

shanaa, i hope you are coping well with baban not by your family's side. and working at escape has really got ur mind away from all the problems... hope school reopens, no more problems shall occur, i dont want you be sad and angry after all the problems that has recently happened. its god's testings....

woppeee....

2008-07-04T18:40:00.005+08:00

A proper update from me aye....

This week, had watched 3 movies... Not included some of the dvds that I've watched at home.. Get Smart - Haikal
Zohan - Farihin (Thanks for the treat... =))
Hancock - Mr Helmi, Shanaa and his friend, Syafii... (Thanks for the treat for all)
Sweeney Todd - Home... Brother took the liberty to give me the DVD.
Step Up2 - That, I took the liberty to take it from his room.

I'm about to be a Movie Freak by the day.. What's more, with the GV member card at hand... I'm spoilt on Tuesdays... And especially with Gelare's half priced waffles... Yum Yum... What places are having offers on Tuesdays.. Oh, Ladies Nights at gym.. Cool... Dah makan Gelare, tgok movie, pas tu gi exercise, amcm....? Ble survive tk uat tu semua every Tuesday?

Anybody seen my STOMP THE YARD CD...?

another shagged kitty.

2008-06-30T10:16:00.003+08:00

Sorry kids, another wordy entry im supposed, cause the camerawoman is well, lazy to take pictures. =p

Friday was spent going to NIGHT SAFARI with Shanaa, Haikal Escape and his friend, Karim. Started off the day, meeting May at school at 12nn, and meeting Shanaa around 3.30pm to meet some of the Bedok Bandits at Bedok.. Hanged around till around 6pm, when we decided to go to marsiling, to meet shanaa's friend cum ex. heee... And also with Haikal in our minds, so that he can fetch us nearer to the place, rather than at Bedok area. we are good friends you know!!

Kinda reached the NIGHT SAFARI around 9pm, and reaching home at 12mn. Thank god, my father was not home yet. If not, I'd get a earful... My lucky day I guess.. =D

I guess this weekend was fun, able to get the morning shifts for both days. And this coming 7th July, working full day for the Youth day thingy.. Haha... Aku da kemaruk bekerja..

Saturday, was spent going to Simpang Bedok and East Coast Park, after work, with the Kakak Sdares kus and soon to be Abg Sdare Ipar... XD We kinda had a table full of FOOD of 6 dishes with I think 6 waiters anxiously waiting at our table to take our orders.. STRESS ME!hehe.. Thanks Kak Eja for the treat, maklumlar kiter2 nie sema keje gaji KECIK!! =))

And at work yesterday, was OK lar... Ariffin lost his voice, and kinda regained back D voice, because of me... Wahahaha!! Aku ubat dier kepe... pfft.. Banyak dah!!

Today
Going out with Haikal(Farz).. =)) Another date ehkx.. Wahahah!!

Tomorrow
Going out with Farihin for a movie DATE! LOL.....
Fahmi, dont laugh aites.. TK BAEK TAU. MCM GINI KWN.
Meeting up with Shanaa, Haikal and Ariffin for the Escape chalet maybe after the movie...
We are going on the first day, instead of going for 2 days..
XD

Helmi, you can see why I said my schedule is damn full, and lotsa activities for this week. from Friday to Tuesday tau!! Oklar, br 5 hari... FINE!! TK FULL LAR KN...!

quitter i guess?

2008-06-26T19:48:00.002+08:00

i remember the time when i had some reminisces of the past, i was all teary and so-called disoriented. now, its just a blank emotion, though i do miss friends that ive met in my journey of becoming a teenager. when i had browsed through my old entries, where almost half or maybe a third quarter were more revolved around my ex boyfriend, adenin. the last time i did that, i cried to my heart's content, only difference now, i forgot how was it like going out with him.. i might have become the next samantha, who had lost her memories after being in a coma.

its been 2 months, i guess, since that police thing happened, and the sms he gave to my mum, where i almost lost her instantaneously. its a great big blow for me to change, and within a month, i do the same things again. somehow, certain things have made me decide to change, hopefully, fully. im not gonna do those things again....

i realised, ive moved on. but my heart is still close. how?
sorry to PO then.

its not too late. there's still time

2008-06-25T18:39:00.004+08:00

dani dearest, i just remembered the pictures that we took with your sissy handphone.
heee....

rmbr the fitting room?
where we 3 all went in and try out the clothes..?
kinda loved the times we were together..
how i wish i can go out now.
but im sick sick sick, plus it sure beats staying at home one whole day.
ive been eating and eating.
and my hands are itchy to cook. YES COOK!

yesterday cooked spaghetti aglio olio.
success i tell you!!
and its not spaghetti ugly ugly...!!!

and to a dear friend.
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO AIN!!
and i missed ya gal.
plus, if you got any probs... im here babe. =)

p.s: going to MOM once by 7th July i dont get my pay from BMC. haish.

and i got a new chilling place in my room.
its like more for the laptop..
ive got an extra bed under my bed right...
pulled it out and walla!
a place for me to put my laptop.
more space for my table...
heee!!

im happy again. maybe?

2008-06-23T14:39:00.004+08:00

first time going out with 3 of the escapians.
namely, haikel, ariffin and shanaa.

we had a nice friendly outing, with me and shanaa depending on the guys to decide on where to go since they are the ones who are gonna bring us to the destination. so first up, was we decided to watch zohan together at AMK hub. but then, the timings and the crowd just made someone felt sooo hungry, which led us to jalan kayu for our dinner. shanaa and me were like sooo damn foreign to the place. they said its like simpang bedok, but its not.. ok, jakun.. period.

soo, it was maghrib when we were about to leave the place, and the guys gonna sent us. all along the journey from jalan kayu towards tampines, i was quite ok-lar. but the part at old tampines road, ariffin had to really speed his way through the 'not-so-many-cars' road. i know k, shanaa, my face was like hell-cramped. but i was doing fine... teehee...... saket seh pantat..

next time, must plan properly... and i dont know if the guys wanna go night safari... nk tgok apa ehkx kat sana? seriously, i kinda forget the times spent there.. hee.. deprived childhood agaknye... shanaaaa????!

yesterday, was spent at work, with shaira and linxi. cause shanaa, ariffin and haikel are all morning shift. dragggg................ i was the only one afternoon. next week, die die, sun must morning. got girls day out with the 3 srikandis of al-bandjary. =p

shagged

2008-06-20T23:56:00.002+08:00

my entry for today is very wordy, be prepared okays people!! =)

have been working for 4 days straight. i know i know, not 9 days like some of the other escapians... heehe.. but well, im wishing i had worked on tuesday, so can make like 7 days straight... =) and plus sat and sun, 9 days straight!!! hehehe.. lol. ive gone crazy!

with mum and bro at kl for the past few days, at least, it takes my mind off staying at home and sulk all day.. or not, cause i might be cleaning the toilet, tidy up my room, watch my favourite show, i.e, Rachael Ray Show, maybe vacuum the whole house, wash some of my clothes, cook up my favourite dishes or bake!!?!.. heee.. thats what i did on tuesday by the ways... heeee... im a very dilligent girl, i know i know....

and working from wed to fri, had me look like a robot. wake up in the morning, cook, bath, watch RR show, eat, check for the stuffs i need to bring to work, and then meet shanaa at the traffic light, hanged arnd the void deck for smoke, and then flagging the taxi, and reaching work at 2pm sharp. then normal routine, smoke session again before entering the ops room at 2.30pm. haha....... i know, like robot. =D

and this week is interesting, i got kiddy track, bum boat, haunted, kite flyer, red baron and tomorrow doing FERRIS WHEEL. interesting i tell you. my first time doing FERRIS WHEEL, and just now red baron. thank god no rainbow.. SKALI SUNDAY KENA RAINBOW! okok, mulot da masin................................ arghhh!!!!

i love life. thank you. and im getting along well with the other escapians. =D
and somehow, khai has got to stop talking about muhaimin. grrrr...!! we are just friends lar ks.....!!

changing pattern?

2008-06-17T14:39:00.004+08:00

today is tuesday.
im supposed to be going to kl slash genting..
and i didnt.
why?
cause, what my brother said, i got many many commitments.
school.
assignments.
work.
house chores.

and today, im not working.. and im like really really wanting to work. who doesnt right?! its money lar k.. even if sometimes, when i go to work, i will literally shut down for god knows why. ive become the most quiet person right now at work, unless theres someone i know, then ill open this mouth of mine. and i dont know why im all quiet... is it because for the number of times that i was not able to work because of unforeseen circumstances, that led me this way. or maybe just maybe, because im just close to someone there, that they are looking at me like i may be the same behaviour as this person?

now as i ponder or maybe reflect myself.. i have to really think, what exactly is my mistake and my weaknesses. or maybe im just a retard. i know, in some of the entries, i did say i have some communication problem with people. you know, i always have to think of what i wanna say, and when i open my mouth, the words dont come out as the way it is. im depreciating every moment. maybe just toooo dumb. i hate myself. i just hate it..

i got self esteem issues that i myself need to change. and the days goes by, as i work, im beginning to be happier working there, leaving the place would mean a great regret. though, i may never know if my name is like a negative omen over there. i need a change.

i wanna cut my hair.

straighten it.

cut the bangs.

dye it all BLACK.

what i always wanted.

ps: i now own a pair of flip flops/sandals that cannot be found in the singapore market yet.

im the guinea pig for newurbanmale.

by accident.

LOL.

and i tink i own the only pair of flipflops in singapore, frm brazilino stg stg.

im a big fan with no money. =)

im in a dreamland of MR WONKA.

2008-06-15T01:32:00.003+08:00

can you just imagine....?
yesterday i dated a friend of mine!!
and the date for the day was HAIKAL!!
heheheheheheh.....
and he thinks i thinks its a joke..
i dont take dates like a joke!!
and the date was fun!!
cause, in between of everything, we decided to meet my other friends for the movie date.... =))

so much for, me, farihin, haikal and shanaa..
end up 10 ppl in total....!!!

let the picture speaks for itself..

and its a pic of me and farihin. at last!!!

things are just unexpected;

2008-06-13T10:37:00.003+08:00

wednesday, 11th june 2008.

skipped school and celebrated noorisha gafoor's birthday at SAFRA tampines with all of the younger cousins.

happy 10th birthday!!

bowling.

pool.

soccer table.

note to self: my mum played pool!!!
seriously, have you guys seen your mum play pool?!?

one time

2008-06-10T20:32:00.007+08:00

the moment i reached home just now, the first face that my parents saw was my brother.
he had made this really sad and annoyed face.
and then he bragged about why i didnt study for it.

next in line, was me.
my mum saw my face, obviously trying very hard to not smile, or laugh.
my dad was busy upstairs in his room, so he didnt see the face.

the moment i went into his room.
i was prepared for the sad face.
my dad believed, till i showed him the slip.
I FREAKING PASSED THE TEST!
admitted im not a good actor, but was able to surprise him tho'.
********
so yesterday, had some early celebration.
met up with shanaa first.
we both skipped classes cause we were both late.
damn late, like 1 hour late.

had breakfast/lunch at pizza hut bedok.
$18+ for two people.. freaking cheap ok..

and then around 1.30, met up dani at starbucks.
i said i did missed you right.
well, the next day, i met her!!
so, starbucks was my dinner(shanaa too).

and while waiting for shanaa from school.
this kid just love me alot.
and i love this kid alot too.
she posed for me, and played arnd with me.

just give me a big closet;

2008-06-09T22:46:00.004+08:00

this is my love at first sight from the moment i saw him.
and i swear he got weird sleeping position.
hehe.

had went to nenek's house last 2 days.
my weekends are spent meaningfully with the family.

mum looked happy here.
and i got to know.
she loves red too. like daughter like mother. =)

and my cousin can be one of them.
in the haunted house.

and yesterday,had went out with helmi.
helped him to choose the perfect gift for his father.
and had watched sex and the city.
the story is nice, though its a bit CENSORED.
lots of sex position(scenes.)
haha.
aku malu tau dok sbela dier.
tgok crite cam tu.

ouh well, had fun spending time with him.
=)
cheers to a new friendship!!

and i miss dani.this is for her.

im happy you know.

2008-06-07T00:27:00.004+08:00

Look, its May Zaw!
My favourite girl of Tampines! =)

Bumped into this chick in Dhoby Ghaut last Wednesday, and as soon as I hugged and kissed her, the bad news was revealed. She's gonna leave us soon at the end of June. I'm still gonna see her around at Chinatown though, hopefully.I LOVE YOU MAY!

Sat down with her around the PS benches, while we watched the Channel U crews interviewing some of the Grafitti Artists. Cool, and the mat looks cute! =p

Yesterday of Yesteryear, Ibu and Cik Tipah, with Afifah and me went to Expo for an unworthly time at the Malay traditional showcase.

Let's see how Afifah coped with it... Hmm..

After that, I went to meet the Gundus of the East, Farz, Haikal and Ayim.. Shahidah soon after with Shanaa.. Had accompanied Haikal to the workplace, so that we can attack the HR for the inefficient work that led to short of payment to the employees. (Ceh! Business seh, Ms Salitha should be damn proud seh..)

tralala....

2008-06-06T03:08:00.006+08:00

i cannot sleep now because something happened. I'm single yet again. heee. after soo long, I'm single again, now is the time to relax... happy tak korg2 yg kat luar tu...?! aku single lar dey! and i don't wanna work for friday, tomorrow and sunday.. cause partly, my eyes are swollen again!! woopee!!! and I'm just not into working anymore.. no mood at all.. and sometimes i wished i don't need to work.. read this nazirah... working is equals to tiring plus stress.

and farihin, it was never about the bike. im never attracted to guys with bikes, and don't ever think that girls will go for guys with bikes. pls! me and shanaa have never ever thought about it. your thinking is way soo wrong..

i know I've not opened up enough, especially to friends. soo, guess this is like the first entry that I've typed out without ever caring about peoples' feelings.

yeah, I'm badly hurt... in the first place, if your not ready, pls don't ask me to be your other half.. i understand that promises can be broken. no blames on that. that i know you know.. but I've already fallen hard for you. and I'm pretty much hurt when i realised like i was being used by u and that we were just friends for you all this time.. there's no such thing as girlfriend boyfriend thing right..?

ouh well, it doesnt do any wrong to be friends now, but i was just abit taken back with your decision, that i had reacted in such a way. after much reflecting, its not just you, it was about me as well, i was also not ready to be in a relationship yet. and i have understand that fate is not by us, we plan but He decides. another sorry and thanks to you. =)

a mistake learnt is an experience of a lifetime.

joyah forces.

2008-06-04T12:23:00.000+08:00

what shall i update?
farz, i got no idea what to update.

its been work, work, skipping of sch and sch.
what do you expect.. right.
anyways, i miss my hair all right.
my long long hair.
come back to me.

monday was spent travelling around.
aimlessly, or shall i say, unknowingly.
bumped into some people.
some were the people im avoiding.
some i'd rather spent the day with.
and furthermore.
after a week.
my happy nuts are back.
its continuing to multiply at a steady speed.

speaking of which.
i miss may alot.
wonder what happened to her at vietnam with alex.
and michael too. and suria. period.

..happy joyah? aku da update...

dingdong. im fainting a sound.

2008-05-31T00:03:00.002+08:00

i seriously need to quit smoking. after a week of not smoking, and yesterday, smoked back... everything is not okay. ive become tipsy and nauseous. i shall stop. cause they say, it can cause blindness. but then, its just saying, meet people who smokes, id continue to deny myself again.

well, yesterday, had crashed at fahmi's crib after a bloody 1.5hours of waiting under numerous blocks, and being approached by a pakcik who wants to get to know me. i feel like shooting that person who kinda "followed" fahmi everywhere. met the rest of bandits after that, while waiting for the star karat, shanaa from work.

im very tired now. work work work. assignment assignment assignment.... school school school.. haish... i now need my bed, my tv, my aircon, my dvds, my loved ones.and my sleep. ok?!
i'm sick already. and i've to work. and i dont know when can i get my rest. i dont think i can take it anymore.

and when are we meeting again? i miss you. very much.

TAGGED!

2008-05-29T11:21:00.000+08:00

Instructions:
1) Copy, paste, and answer the questions below.
2) Tag 8 people, excluding the one who tagged you.

DANI TAGGED ME!

lets see who im tagging:
1 Shanaa
2 Fahmi
3 Muhaimin
4 Ain
5 Fizah
6 Farz
7 Lin
8 Eza BMC

01. What disappoints you the most?
the most? a lot of things. if i list down, it wouldnt end, aye....
1ST. doing something stupid and eventually make someone sad.

02. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
LONDON, SWITZERLAND, RUSSIA, THAILAND, VIETNAM, JAPAN... heeeee!

03. What's your favorite thing to do?
cooking and baking. sooo, who want to marry me!? i can cook... and bake, until chao-ta!

04. Do you think money can buy happiness?
for most of needs and wants, yes. for me, a mixture of both.

05. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
to be a boss of my own f&b restaurant. =)

06. Do you believe you can survive without money?
not really, c'mon, you're living in Singapore. period.

07. What are you afraid to lose the most?
loved ones. be it family, relatives, friends... but everybody will somehow or other leave me one day.

08. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
i cant think of anything. and the most obvious answer is, donate money to the needy. and prolly open my own f&b restaurant. =)

09. How are you gonna make your dream come true?
Work, then study at SHATEC or ouh well, havent thought yet.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
good points??!
DANI, READ THIS AYE.
she can make the weather change. ie, rain. by singing
she is EXTREMELY CRAZY
she is into coffee. cause she loves me.(thats 4 points)

11. What makes you happy?
see people i love happy and seeing my room tidy. plus cuddling always makes me happy. plus while hanging around in a big group of close friends/cousins. actually a lot arh...!

12. If you are to choose between your happiness or your close ones' happiness. Which will you choose?
i'd prefer seeing my closed ones' happiness. i believe in karma.

13. What do you like/love about your life right now?
i have a very loving family, i can make friends easily, i have lovable friends, who are supportive. i have a great life, i GUESS. and he's not disturbing me anymore. yeah....!

14. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
speed.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
my family. my friends. my handphone. my laptop. my tv.

16. Any memories you'll like to re-live?
yes. like the ones we went to bangkok. when i was in poly. etc.

17. What are you craving for now?
chicken chop, galilee ice double choc drink. =D

18. Which cartoon character you like most?
sam from spies

19. Are you courageous enough to go and tell the person that you like he/she?
yes. if you dont, its like you are making your life extra troubled. if you know what i mean k.

20. List 1 bad thing about the person who tagged you to do these questions?
DANI SINGS BADLY. TILL IT RAINS.

paranoid.

2008-05-28T20:28:00.006+08:00

Monday

nothing much happened. had class for the new module, lied a bit, so that can go home early. was quite jealous to hear that fahmi was working. haish.. but then that night, nazrul called, and brainwashed me not to come to school the next day. hee....

Tuesday

worked full day. skipped school. =)

morning was spent doing rainbow. afternoon, haunted. and guess what. i had to make fun of marsila of her 'tempang-ness', and ended up, i was limping myself when i got home.

made 2 new friends, fadly and syafiq. =))

when it rained for 3 hours, fahmi, syafiq, fadly, renee and me spent our time inside haunted dressing up as ghost. heee... best! after the rain stopped, i was left with fatin... talked abit to her, before realising that it was closing... my oh-not-so-favourite part lar.... haish...

Wednesday

today...... reached school at 10.30am with nazirah..

was quite shocked to hear two of my ex-colleagues were terminated from their jobs.. what has happened?! a bit sad to hear it, especially from rina.. soo, now, ive got no one to turn to, only rina and kak yati...... the rest are all the new staffs. fyi, the company has a very high number of jobs turnover. not surprised. and also surprisingly they had to terminate those people who can actually be loyal to the company. pfft! suria affiza, thank god, u decided to QUIT!

today hasnt been much of a day, thought i would have been relaxed to know that im not working tomorrow. but just when i was typing this entry, i had a call from my workplace. im working lar k! haish... more money, more money! hehe.... well, lets rush my assignment...!

"finished with my woman cause she couldnt help me with my mind"
-hee, at last da tau lagu apa, thanks ehks!
paranoid by black sabbath

**

2008-05-26T18:14:00.003+08:00

i wonder if anybody cared about me.

yet, in melancholy mode.

thanks for asking.

its not human. its not animal.

2008-05-24T13:01:00.004+08:00

hmm. scrap that happy2 post.
things have not been normal for today, and a bit of yesterday.
i dont think i wanna talk much.
like i wanna be for the previous post.
*shuts down and cries*
im not myself. i know it.
why cant everything be normal.
why cant you just get out of there..
you are making them suffer!

overdue pictures.

scratch this itchy hands and brains

2008-05-23T20:30:00.004+08:00

im being very itchy nowadays. ive dared 2 people who are heavy smokers not to smoke for 3 days to 1 month.

1st guy: alright. i'll take up the challenge for 1 month.
12hours later...
1st guy: ok, you win the bet.
.. should i redeem my swensens??! hehe

2nd guy: i might do it.
me: are you keen on taking up my dare?
2nd guy: a bit.
mcm je nk kena ketuk kepala.. pfft!! nie 3 hari je tau!!

ouh well. im slowly picking up all the craziness that i had left years and eons ago. 9 months ago had seen me going from bad to worse. my momentum on life was not going any better. ever since i left the grounds of TP, things changed, especially when i started working. perspectives on life had also changed. ive changed back into my old self, perhaps when i was in secondary school. the life when i had cut back from the social world, and just being alone. sec 4 was the year i opened up too much. the best years. =) and here i am, step by step going towards my opened-up self again. glad to be that way. no longer am i shutting off from the world.

and aku tgh rindu farz, idah, lina retz, nia dias, susu, YY, sihui, nyuknyuk, abg nat, fadhil jericho, firdian, jinx.. dani, naz 126, naz KL, durga, lin yinnn, SJ, haikal, niah in, sha belo, fizah peterpan, nana so0rt.. sng kata, ramai jgak org yg aku rindu. yg paleng utama, kakak2 sdare aku, KAK wani, faezah ngn yuni. termasuklar ADEK iqa, nurul dgn ain... aku paleng sgt rindu bdak2 ad15/25. haish. asl lar aku kuar dari poly. u think i can go back poly once i finish this lengthy assignment base course?

yeah yeah, besok keje....
but i think im gonna be alone, yet again....
cause, somebody might be sick...
haish...
boredom.
but! im gonna make it a fun day for me.
think positive, everything will come out fine.
maybe a chat with them... hee..lets break the ice...
i think im a bit discoordinate today. pardon me.

change of skin

2008-05-21T19:54:00.003+08:00

hmm. just changed the skin. its red, fiza!! hehe. =)
suddenly, felt like changing the skins, because i got bored with being white.
and its like decorating my room.
hees!

my room's main colours will be red and white.
will be done in 2 weeks time i guess.
im a happy girl.
brother had bought certain things from IKEA.
sorrie nazirah, tk sempat nk kirim kotak.
next time k.. =)

guys! comment sikit aku nyer skin!! please!
and farz, kau nyer comment biar sensible k.
aku tknk kau edit aku nyer blog.
awahahha!!!
mintak maaf yer mak joyah..!

PS: Fiza, Cucu Datuk Merah...! Putra very goth.. blueks!